Alright, so wait a second, here. I kind of don’t understand something about music these days. Not just music though. I’m talking rock, alternative rock, grunge rock, whatever rock. Rock. Cool in the 80′s was big hair. Cool in the 90′s was the grunge look. Now, the late part of this decade, cool is…gay?
I have no problem with gay people. Proposition 8 passed and pissed me off in the same motion. Fuck all that. That gay people can’t legally be married is a crock of horseshit that makes about as much sense as Jesse Jackson.
But it’s not COOL to be gay. Look, the best thing about gay people is that they’re gay. They’re not pretending to be anything else. They’re proud to be gay and you know what, I’m proud of them for being proud. Be happy with who you are. At least, give it your best shot.
But to try to put the gay posture and act gay? That’s bizarre. All these teenage boys with this filthy, unappealing emo look equipped with the hair falling across their foreheads while they constantly try pulling up sagging butt-tight jeans. What?!
Our society has taken the man out of pop culture and replaced it with the metro-sexual douche bag who can’t figure out if he looks better in the mirror than the hot, big-chested girl next to him.
What the fuck happened to flannel shirts and tools? Guys working on cars? A bunch of dudes hanging out getting trashed and smoking cigars while they wait for a bunch of huge burgers and sausages to finish grilling on a gorgeous grill?
Have we been replaced with women posing as men? Do these pansies really have dicks? First off, if you want to have your pants hanging low, TIGHT JEANS DON’T WORK, JERK-OFF. Get baggy jeans. That’s what they were built for.
Second, GET A FUCKING HAIRCUT!!! The girls that think you’re hot with your hair covering your eyes and forehead are emo chicks that also like heroin and slitting their wrists. Emo is what most of all call BULLSHIT
Third, please clean yourselves up a little. You want to be a rebel because you’re a teenager? Fine, but take a god damn shower. It’s not hip to have greasy hair just like it’s not hip to play connect the dots on your face because you’re covered in zits. Also, most gay people are pretty clean. And they dress good too.
Last but not least: don’t think this is one of these generational gap complaints. I really pull for rebellion. Seriously. I like when people try to think independently. But don’t venture too far out of reality, stupid. There’s a price to be paid for that.
In closing, I’d like to note that we’ve all been teenagers before and had our quirky moments. But dumb is dumb and ugly is ugly. You don’t look at a roach and try to make it look beautiful. You know why? IT’S A FUCKING ROACH
