*a fun little section with hot women but here’s the catch: money is a rich lady (think Orange County Housewives), porn honeys are porn stars, and Playboy Bunnies are well, Playboy Bunnies. Lay ‘em out and let you decide who’s the hottest. And it rhymes too!

For Round 1, I decided to keep all the pretty ladies blonde for the sake of a fair argument so throw me a friggin’ bone if you have any arguments.

So, in honor of our money, porn honeys and Playboy Bunnies, a list…

ROUND 1…FIGHT!

THE $$$MONEY$$$

ORANGE COUNTY HOUSEWIFE

The Orange County Housewife’s got a lot of dough at her disposal plus a sugar daddy pulling in the big bucks, making life way easier on her the other two blondes, who work for their cash.

THE PORN HONEY

JENNA JAMESON

Jenna Jameson is probably working harder for her cash than any of the other two although many may not agree with Mrs. Jameson’s line of work in the adult entertainment business otherwise known as porn otherwise known as getting banged on camera and other REALLY DIRTY THINGS on camera for a LOT OF MONEY. But, Mrs. Jameson is very hot. Very, very hot.

THE PLAYBOY BUNNY

KENDRA WILKINSON (The Girls Next Door)

Everybody in America seems to have fallen in love with The Girls Next Door, especially Kendra Wilkinson. She’s young, hot, has REALLY big knockers and a charm that seems to throw every dude off his feet. But not me. Nope. I tend to lean toward Holly more. But I’m not big into blondes anyhow.

So, who wins the first round?

CONSENSUS SAYS….JENNA JAMESON!!!

Jenna scores a perfect 10 because while she clearly is as pretty as the other two on the list, her “skills”, shall we say put her over the top here. 

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*I’m going to keep driving home this point to all you fellas out there who are getting too caught up in the Lindsey Lohans and Nicole Richie’s of the world. Just because a girl’s got a little meat on her, doesn’t mean she’s fat, Okay, media?

*if you don’t think this lady’s hot then your pee-pee doesn’t work

KIMBERLEY LOCKE

Former American Idol contestant and currently a Lane Bryant and also currently a hottie as well.

*the make-up people for Ugly Betty earn their damn money ten-fold

AMERICA FERRARA

So “fat” she got her big break as the lead of an indie hit, “Real Women Have Curves”. Yep, real women do have curves and nice boobs and a big ole juicy bubble butt! 

*If this is “gaining weight”, I’ll take a million of these to go, please

JESSICA SIMPSON

So, I guess Jessica’s “fat” now according to all the media stories leaking out about “how much weight she’s put on.” Jessica, simply turn to them politely, extend your middle finger and then turn and shake your big ass in their face. HA!

*DAAAAAAAAAAAAM, PAM!!!

PAM GRIER

The Cleopatra and Coffy star from the 1970′s Blaxploitation films is still around, albeit older but still smoooooooooooookin’ hot! Pick up the two flicks mentioned above if you want to get your mind blown by what she looked like in the ’70′s (also, lots of topless scenes which WILL NOT disappoint)

*I’m convinced now that the kitchen is the best room in the house

MIA TYLER

Steven Tyler’s other daughter, Mia, is an American plus size model and pretty damn hot at that. In fact, call me silly, but I’d take her over her snap-like-a-twig sister, Liv Tyler,  any day of the week.

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