*Discovery’s got “Shark Week” and everybody knows what a shark is, looks like and does but do you really know sharks? Guess which shark kills the most? How about which one is the least picky eater? These things are fun to know, cool to know and even better to use on people to show how much you know!
So, in honor of those murderous fish with the razor sharp teeth, a list…
OCEANIC WHITE TIP SHARK
Apparently, this bad boy seems to be a tad bit nasty toward humans because it’s got an incredibly powerful sense of smell amongst sharks which is basically saying these are the Kobe Bryant’s in the world of shark scent. However, even worse than that, this is considered the most common shark in the world, probably making it our most frequent visitor. I’ll pass on a trip to the beach today, thank you.
SHORTFIN MAKO SHARK
Looks nice, doesn’t it? Not only one of the fastest shark species, shortfin Mako sharks are also one of the few sharks where the female is bigger than the male. Go figure. As big as these guys look, they only average 5-8 feet in length but have been seen at 12 feet, making them that much scarier. Don’t forget this is a damn good fish to eat too should you ever see it on sale at the local market, pick it up, throw that bad boy on the grill and get ready for seafood heaven. Yes, it’s that good.
TIGER SHARK
You have to admit that’s a cool picture, right? Also, at family reunions for sharks, this is the one nobody has to worry about feeding. Tiger sharks will eat ANYTHING. Aside from the usual fish and seafood, Tiger sharks have been found with the following in their stomachs: goat hooves, dog bones, tin cans, trash bags, license plates, batteries, bicycle tires and of course, human remains. Hey, at least they’re not prejudice in what they eat.
BULL SHARK
Here’s where me and the Discovery Channel disagree. They have the bull shark at #1, something I absolutely refused to do knowing the baddest son of a bitch shark on the planet should be there instead. But, being fair, bull sharks are extremely dangerous and very well known for attacking humans. What goes, Mr. Bull Shark? Basically, it’s quite simple. For one, bull sharks are the only known shark that can survive in freshwater, known for swimming up to 70 miles upstream. Another little element that makes them prone to attacking us: they can swim very effectively in shallow water, hence, many attacks close to shore. Just so you know, the way to avoid this would be to skip the beach.
GREAT WHITE SHARK
One of the biggest, baddest, scariest, deadliest and most dangerous animals on our planet Earth, the great white average lengths between 12-16 feet but there have been 21-23 footers recorded. You know, for me, I don’t even want to see a two footer. This is the number one killer among sharks as far as human death tallies go, however, very rarely does the great white attack a person on purpose. When swimming, we look like seals from underneath and our subject to attacks that way. Either way, it can often be a fatal blow or at least resulting in a severed limb and an unspeakable amount of stitches if you make it through.
*A few things to remember:
1. We kill thousands upon thousands more sharks than sharks kill humans but then again, violence seems to be the human way, no matter what the cost
2. If you really never want to get bitten by a shark…
DON’T SWIM IN THE OCEAN!!!
Finally, Sharks! Very interesting facts about the Tiger Shark. I didn’t know they were the real garbage disposals. The Great White is hands down the most dangerous and meanest mother suckers ever to rule the sea. And I agree with you, gangsters like us will never get bitten by a shark because we only go “knee high” in the ocean.
Request: For your future topic on animals, I would love to see what animals would win in a steel cage match. Grizzly Bear v Polar Bear, or Polar Bear v Lion, Killer Whale v Great White, etc. I’m curious who the Sage would pick.