MORE STUFF THEY SHOULD BRING BACK
*in honor of some of those back in the day things we’d all love to see again, a list…
1. KEEBLER MAGIC MIDDLES
In the mighty words of text language: OMG!!! Basically, it was a miniature cookie with chocolate fudge in the middle. Genius, Keebler. Genius. Also, kudos for the little Keebler Elf who keeps on pimpin’ to this day. At least they haven’t killed some of our favorite product characters. And he gets to live in a friggin’ tree away from all the crap we have to live with in the city.
This lady below tries to give Magic Middles a whirl in her own kitchen, something I thought was totally admirable. Anybody who has the balls to recreate one the greatest discontinued cookies of all time is a gangster.
http://www.crowncombo.com/articles/2006/025_magicmiddles/cookies.html
2. TRADING CARDS
Man, what the hell ever happened to these?! I’ll tell you what happened: in the late ’80′s and early ’90′s, the trading cards business was booming and BLOWING UP. So the manufacturers got REALLY greedy and start mass producing tons of different sets and sub-sets and specialty sets and rare sets and gold sets and platinum sets and on and on and on. They were charging kids (their parents, actually) $3-8 dollars per pack! Yeah, it was ridiculous. Today it’s 2009 and there’s still a trading cards business out there somewhere but it’s not what it once was but it could get back there again if they could market trading cards properly to boys. First of all, stop with the inflated prices to fatten your wallets. You’re getting rich anyhow so chill on the price gouging. Just make it cool again. After all, trading cards have something other hobbies don’t: VALUE.
3. SQUEEZEIT
What a great drink this was from one our favorite baking moms, Betty Crocker. It was called Squeezeit because you it came in very efficient plastic bottles with a simple plastic top that twisted off with one turn. It wasn’t healthy or anything but for those who like sugary drinks, Squeezeits were worth picking up at the market. Nowadays, the only thing that resembles this is a beer but it has a much more difficult cap to get off.
4. THE REN & STIMPY SHOW
The day I found out this show was canceled is up there with one of the worst days of my thirty years of life. The greatest cartoon ever invented, The Ren & Stimpy Show used to make me laugh so hard my sides would be sore for two days. There’s so many great episodes but they’re mostly in the first few seasons when original creator, John Kricfalusi, was in control of the show. Too bad he couldn’t meet deadlines, apparently the reason Nickelodeon fired him from his own show.
