This week I had to go with a show that THE ENTIRE WORLD seemed to be bitching about last week. Hopefully you’ll agree with some of the things I have to say. If not, your opinion means nothing to me.
THE BACHELOR (ABC)
Here’s a story, of a guy named Jason…
Who dumped a girl named Molly…
So he could propose to a hot chick named Melissa 
But do they live happily ever after?
If you watch The Bachelor, you’re probably a chick, or gay, or possibly a gay man who thinks he’s straight but everyone else in the free world knows you’re gay. Either way, the Bachelor is an ENORMOUSLY popular ABC show that many women can’t seem to turn their eyes away from. I had to do this because last week damn near every chick in America couldn’t shut up about what Jason (the Bachelor) did to Melissa after dumping Molly when he proposed to her and then wound up breaking off the engagement because he still had feelings for the broad that had lost he originally dumped First of all, let me just say this:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Not only do I not give a shit, but it REALLY makes me laugh when things are so obvious and yet, people act like there was some kind of dramatic twist here. First off, to cast away the notion that this show isn’t fixed to a certain degree is a heavy indication something is probably wrong with you and how you think. Unfortunately, fixed reality shows are part of the biz and to deny the truth is just good old fashioned bullshit.
To add another thing, I’d like to point out that I didn’t watch a second of this show but was relayed the news by my fiance who actually can’t stand the show but was seemingly grabbed in by the intensity of the final episode just like every other broad across the states. But, after seeing a few pictures on the web here, how that man chooses Melissa and then CHANGES HIS MIND for Molly is beyond me and probably every other guy with a swinging dick out there. The Bachelor, as I already knew, SUCKS ASS. But so does the actual bachelor.
“I will choose Melissa.”
“Then I will dump Melissa and go back to Molly.”
The Bachelor could all be called The Big Waste of Time.
WATCH THIS INSTEAD
THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER (Bravo)
Okay, you caught me. Here’s a chick show I actually find myself watching with my fiance on Sunday afternoon or evening when we’re just hanging around. At first, I thought to myself, “here’s another dumb ass reality show about setting people up”, obviously thinking I’d be right way before I’d be wrong. But, this time around, I’m DEAD WRONG.
Hosted by millionaire matchmaker, Patti Stanger, it shows how her business runs its day to day operation, starting with two millionaire men between 30-60, who are given interviews and researched about everything. Yes, EVERYTHING. Patti also HOLDS NOTHING BACK and her super hilarious rants about “men’s penises” are right on the money and no holds barred.
Part of the function of business is screening tons of women to set the millionaires up with to go on dates. The dates are a completely different ball game, the part of the show where you often watch two people talk and laugh but there’s NO CHEMISTRY because it’s often a greasy old dude trying to pull a hot skirt at least twenty years younger. Also, you know how you’ve always hated rich people because you think they’re uppity and snotty and stuck-up and on and on? Well, these dates reassure that theory because many of these guys are complete, certified 100% Grade A DOUCHE BAGS and it’s funny watching them try to play that off. Guess what, douche bag, it doesn’t work.
Getting back to the focal point of the show, however, there’s no better single character on reality television right now than Patti. Don’t argue with me because you’re wrong. She’s such a trip, I watch her as if it’s a stand-up. She’s like a Jewish mother with a South Park mouth and a nose so far up her client’s ass, it’s probably waving at them when they wake up in the morning. But the best part is that she usually says what you’re thinking and has absolutely no remorse. NONE. She’s the star and her employees are characters too. But tune in for Patti. It’s well worth your while. Even if you call me a chick.
*Patti and the gang ready for business
