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Archive for March 23rd, 2009
Stop and look at THAT!
Monday, March 23rd, 2009
I thought this would be a really fun little section to pass time. You might stop, and well, look at something. BTW: That would be the whole point of this stupid little section as well.
*Silly shit. Just stupid, silly, nonsensical shit.
*A morbid and disgusting reminder of what happens when a camel spider bite is left untreated. BTW: camel spiders are in Middle Eastern deserts, yet another simple hurdle our troops after to jump over.
*This is about as perfect of an ass as you can find. AMEN!!!
*This picture almost made me piss my pants. In fact, I need to be excused.
*Must be hard being a leper. Poor son of a bitch can barely scratch his ass!
*Your new hit television horror series: MY DEAD DOG.
*Spiderman. Spiderman. Does whatever a spider can.
*The sign on my front lawn reads: BEWARE MOTHERFUCKERS!
*What a great idea. Brilliant! Genius! Revolutionary!
STOP…PANICKING AND BUY!
Monday, March 23rd, 2009
Well, Friday marked the first two week stretch in the last year where the stock market put up gains rather than the atrocious and mind boggling losses constantly coming out week after week. So, at least for this one moment, let’s give a hand to the market for finally managing some positive gains…FINALLY!
However, let’s be honest: DO WE BELIEVE? Are we really supposed to think the market is on a comeback? Should we truly believe that the bears have been scared away and are plodding off to hibernation?
In short, probably not. Those bears will probably return and the bulls may not have the energy to fight them off yet again. However, don’t think the bears will last too much longer. 2009 could be their final hurrah before the bulls start kicking some ass and sending the bears back into hibernation for good.
That being said, we’re still sitting 200 points above 7000 and that isn’t great proof that the market has changed for the better. That the market had been down to the 6500 range says something about investors’ resiliency but it’s also says even more about their volatility. The question is who really started this volatile equity market that currently hovers over us in the form of a dark, almost black cloud dropping more and more rain with the occasional burst of sunshine?
The answer is who knows and who cares? Just tell yourself it’s the government and it will prevent you from trying to discover an answer that just doesn’t exits. At least the government is a good answer and one everyone can relate to, right? So stick with that one. Also, watch what the hell is going on around you.
Are their people still fighting through traffic inside your local Apple Store?
Still people in line at the McDonald’s drive-thru?
Are people still throwing them back (drinking beer for you squares)?
Are people still doing it (aka screwing, fucking, sexual intercourse for you squares)?
Are people still smoking like chimneys?
If you’re still seeing these things in your daily life then worry shouldn’t be too much of a concern. When every McDonald’s is gone, you can start to worry because chances are teh world will be falling into the ocean soon after that. But, until that apocalyptic day, start considering stocks of this nature to buy and hold for the future. After all, people are people. And don’t you ever forget that.
APPLE INC (AAPL)
iLike your iPod, iBaby. How about we iGo to my iPad and so I can show you my iMac and we can do our iThing like iPeople should be iDoing? Get it? I don’t either.
McDONALD’S (MCD)
I’m lovin’ it, you’re lovin’ it, everyone’s lovin’ it. Any questions?
DIAGEO (DEO)
Crown Royal. Guiness Stout. Smirnoff vodka. Johnnie Walker. Captain Morgan. Jose Cuervo. Bailey’s Original Irish Cream. Tanqueray gin. And money. Diageo owns lots and lots of money.
CHURCH & DWIGHT CO. (CHD)
Arm & Hammer. Orange Glo. Brillo. OxiClean.Orajel. Arrid (a home pregnancy test). And, of course, the celebrity of condoms, Trojan. People do a lot of screwing here in the states and people buy a lot of condoms. Trojan is a real warrior.
ALTRIA GROUP (MO)
Altria Group is Philip Morris and vice versa. Altria Group owns 100% of Philip Morris. That means Altria owns 100% of Philip and all of Philip’s shit. Smokers are still smoking. You figure it out.
