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STOP…PANICKING AND BUY

by Stop Pop Culture on March 29, 2009

Rally on, Mr. Market, RALLY ON! Well, at least it was fun while it lasted. Three straight weeks of gains topped off with last Friday’s market losing 148 points or 1.87%. Not terrible since that damn thing kicked major ass last Monday, gaining 497 points or 6.8%. What’s that spell: V-O-L-A-T-I-L-E.

volatile-stock-chart1

But does the three week gain mean anything? How much it means is up to the guys who have their big degrees and big paychecks to claim they know the answers. Unfortunately for those geniuses, they still don’t know shit. Analysts, researchers, economists are very smart people. Very, very smart. But they don’t know more than you, they don’t know more than me and they don’t know what they think they know about the market. They’re just a bunch of dudes who know a lot of numbers and can write a good report on them. In short, they’re smart asses. 

smart-ass

*Another great picture. Whoever designed this is brilliant!

Statistically speaking, according to the majority of these experts, this recent bull rally is really just a “bear market rally”. So, going with that theory, this “bear market rally” should be ending very soon. Soon as in last Friday thus starting a brand new bear market tomorrow, on Monday. So, what’ll be? In honor of Saturday Night Live’s Super Fans, we must ask,  

“Are we taking da Bears or are we takin’ da Bulls?”

snl-super-fans

Seems like an easy question these days. Everyone’s going nuts over what could be over 700,000 job cuts in the month of March when the jobs data gets released this Friday. If it’s worse than expected the Bears are attacking with machine guns. If it’s better than expected, the Bulls could hold their ground and reinforce their current attack with another missle rally upward. It could happen.

missle-launch

Point is, something completely one-sided will take effect. Either the bears kick ass or the bulls. Trust me, either way, it won’t be an even week. Might not even be two or three. Something’s happening right now, on a Sunday night, all around the world that none of us little investors know about. But it’s a’happenin’. It’s a mystery as to what it is but it involves money and lots of it to be precise. 

question-mark

Anyhow, bear or bull, war or not, there’s stocks out there worth a good look. However, there’s many that aren’t. Here are a few I’ve noticed that just look bad. In short, they suck.

Warner Music Group (WMG) wmg-small-logo

It’s not WMG’s fault that music is officially dead from a corporate standpoint. If it was alive, Warner would be just fine. See, most artists got smart and are now taking the DIY (doing it yourself) directiont. Basically, artists have been completely cutting out the middleman (Warner, Universal, Sony) and making lots of dough doing it. Thank yourself, the artists and the Web for taking down the evil empire of Big Music. Great job, ya’ll.

Playboy Enterprises Inc (PLA) playboy-logo-small

All guys have a special place in their heart for Hugh Hefner and Playboy but there may be a possibility that the once greatest adult entertainment company in the world could be done. Online porn has wiped out most of the big adult companies and will continue to do so unless the bigger companies can give the fans of that industry something worth their while that doesn’t cost $40. Charging that dough for DVD’s is ridiculous when the rest of the porn these people are watching online is free. Reconsider your business plan, Hugh.

Blockbuster Inc (BBI) blockbuster-logo-small

I might have mentioned before that it seems everyone has put a Stopbuster to their Blockbuster. Remember when it was always a Blockbuster night? I would hit up Blockbuster myself every Saturday night for a movie until I realized my wallet was empty every time I left with a new movie. I started realizing the mom and pop shop down the street was giving you a day less for half the price so you know what I did. Then, Netflix came along and the rest is history.

STOP BRANGELINA!

by Stop Pop Culture on

STOP SAYING THAT: BRANGELINA

“The tv’s turned into Brangelina
But I’m simply no fangelina
Cuz I’ve gotten so sick of Brangelina
That I just wanna slap ‘em with my handgelina”

God, am I sick of these two bratty, annoying, pompous, self-serving celebrity douches. Angelina Jolie the gorgeous actress with looks that are the envy of all women and Brad Pitt, the equally gorgeous actor with the looks that are the envy of all men. Together, they seem to be the envy of everyone except those that actually have this thing called A LIFE.

brangelina

These two have become so completely full of themselves that they were scrutinized for being completely standoffish and cold with everyone at this year’s Academy Awards. In the world of Hollywood that made you super celebrities, that’s a no-no. A BIG NO-NO.

brangelina-children

“We’re legally bound to our children, not to each other, and I think that’s the important thing.” -Angelina Jolie

Angelina, STOP SAYING THAT!

And Brangelina: KISS MY FAT HAIRY WHITE ASS!

Not only are you an absolute fake for humanity, the fact that you constantly throw your efforts for humanity in our faces is even more of a disgrace. Listen, just because you’ve got three kids with different ethnic backrounds doesn’t make you saint. In fact, it makes you look like even more of an asshole and an even bigger fake.

fake

If you’re such a humanist, how about quitting your celebrity lifestyle altogether to travel the world helping at risk youths by donating ALL OF YOUR MONEY AND BRAD’S MONEY to those poor, distraught countries you so like to visit? No? Didn’t think so. And isn’t it interesting and a little telling that people like Brangelina create people like Octomom?

octo-mom

You’ll notice Octo-mom (Nadya Suleman) has done everything in her power to look like Angelina Jolie, perhaps so she can catch her own Brad Pitt and possibly become Octolina. I can see that happening. I’ll say this: I like Octo-mom A LOT MORE than Brangelina. Sure, I’m paying for Octo-mom and her kids just like you, but I live amongst many people who have kids too early, have too many kids in general, or just shouldn’t have any kids at all. But what can you do? These people will always live amongst you. ALWAYS. That, we cannot control. Brangelina, on the other hand, we have complete control over. All you have to do is just turn off the television set.

Also, let’s get a REAL picture of Brangelina’s REAL baby

brangelinas-baby

*Whoever created this picture is GENIUS!!!

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