LAID OFF: DAY 37
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah Boy! -Flavor Flav (Public Enemy)
“Flavor Flav on a hype tip/I’m ya hype drink, come take a big sip” -Cold Lampin’
Who doesn’t like a little Flav in their lives? 37 days without a job now and while it’s still scary and full of stressful surprises, it ain’t so bad after all. Besides, things are finally staring to look up in the j-o-b department. Not that it mattered a whole lot considering I’m just about to get my website launched after two months of creating content and a blueprint. But a little part time gig on the side to pay the bills? I’ll take it.
*do you have the skills to pay the bills?
So what’s the best and worst part about being laid off for 37 days now? Well, the best part, hands down, is I’M ENGAGED. To my beautiful fiance after a little more than 3 1/2 years together. You probably don’t care but then again, I don’t care what you think so that’s that. Besides, I’m an egomaniac so I have to bloat my ego.
*the diamond on my fiance’s engagement ring is not that big
So yeah, still waiting on my first unemployment check since I failed to check ONE damn box on the form so the whole thing gets delayed. If you’re filing for unemployment MAKE SURE YOU FILL OUT ALL THE BOXES!!! If not, you won’t get one of these.
*too many Americans know what this looks like
But, as we laid off folks know all too well, you need that unemployment check so you’re unemployed ass can get some food to eat while you’re on unemployment, dammit! Best thing to do if you’re check is delayed and you have to call:
BE REALLY REALLY NICE TO WHOEVER IS ON THE PHONE
*be nice, even if you’re being full of shit
Things like “I bet you’ve been dealing with a lot lately” and “I know you’re doing a hundred of these a day so I’ll be quick” shows them that you care. It also will get you your money WAY faster. Be an asshole and you might just get delayed again. Who’s to prove they accidently threw your forms at the bottom of the pile? Want your money? BE NICE and then you can sing, “I’m in the money”.
*she’s got her money…And a LOT more!
37 days of being out of work ain’t so bad. It may not be the greatest thing on earth but it’s not the worst thing either. Hell, the other day I read a story about some looney stoner that shoved his kitten down his bong while he smoked a bowl. Apparently, he claimed the kitten was hyper and needed to calm down. Sadly, and this is where you start to wonder, it wasn’t the first time he had done it. It got me thinking, this guy makes potheads all over the world look bad.
*I may be a pothead but at least I don’t smoke kittens
Also, I realized a few things about being unemployed:
1. You get a TON of things done that you couldn’t normally do when you putting in 40 hour weeks. If you’re living with a spouse that works while you’re looking for work, don’t think you can’t contribute by shopping, cleaning, organizing and helping in ways you never thought possible to show you’re not just going to be a lazy jackass all day long surfing the television set with one hand on the remote and the other alternating between the Doritos bag and down your pants.
*this dude represents the lazy bastard in all of us
2. Remember all those projects and dreams you’ve always wanted to pursue but just never quite had the time to go after? Well, NOW YOU DO. Though the steady income not coming in is tough, that negative energy can be diverted into creative things you’ve been putting off for years. Always remember this: if you never try, you’ll never know. Also remember this: once you stop realizing your dream, the dream is dead. So, now that you have time (plenty of time), FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!!!
*AMEN!
So yeah, you’re unemployed and so am I. Who cares? Honestly, nobody except those REALLY close to you. Other than that, even former co-workers and friends probably don’t care all that much because they know it’s just as bad for everyone else. Keep looking for work because sometimes that’s all you have. And sometimes, that’s okay. You know why? Because you could be on your way to a cricket match in Sri Lanka when a bunch of terrorists drop in and start spraying your vehicle with bullets and grenades.
*this van had a bad accident with terrorists with machine guns
Hopefully, you’re not playing cricket anytime soon. If so, maybe try your cricket matches OUTSIDE of Sri Lanka or Pakistan or anywhere in that region. Besides, you’re unemployed, so you’ve got better things to do then playing a game of cricket. You, my friend, need to play of game of “find that job” and, as much as it sucks and feels like a neverending game of chase, remember, things could be worse. A LOT WORSE.
*why isn’t anyone running away from the fire?
Is it so bad? Is it? Maybe. But it’s times like these that you really have to press yourself and dig deep and find more than one solution. Remember those dreams we discussed before? FOLLOW THEM. You’re unemployed, my friend, but so am I. And you know what, something good will come of this. I’m still scared but I’m not down. I’m not quitting. So, I ask myself: am I okay?
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah Boy!
