Stop Pop Culture

This one’s for my El Salvadorian buddies back at my old job. I just wanted to make them proud and promise to do as I told them: “Write sumthin’ bout the fine chicas, ese”. ‘Nuff said, fellas.

$$$MONEY$$$ – JENNIFER LOPEZ

Jennifer Lopez. J-Lo on the street and with the kids and on MTV and all the other silly shit. Known to do whatever it takes to get to the top, including screwing anyone over who dares to stand in her way. Married some dancer once, divorced him because he probably wasn’t pulling in much loot. Tries to marry Ben Affleck until one of them realized how big the other’s ego was (or they both realized this) and broke it off but was able to hook up with latin pop singer Marc Anthony (what kind of Latin name is that?!) who she’s currently still with although there’s always reported problems in the marriage. Finally got pregnant with twins so her blood can continue torturing the people around her for years to come. That’s Jennifer Lopez. Or J-Lo. Or who gives a shit?

HONEY: VANESSA DEL RIO

Vanessa Del Rio was one of the first big porn stars, albeit a Hispanic porn star as well. She’s appeared in over 100 porno films and is still recognized as one of the greats among porn insiders today. Also, Vanessa has done her share of work in front of the camera in the public eye as well, playing herself in many music videos and appearing in shows such as NYPD Blue. Anyways, apparently she’s someone special in the porn industry.

PLAYBOY BUNNY: MARIA CHECA

Maria Checa was a gorgeous, Columbian model and actress who landed in Florida with her parents when she was young. She accomplished many things as a young woman, one being an artist attending the Maryland Institute College of Art. Of course, Miss Checa then went on to become playmate of the month in August 1994, turning her future into what appeared to be destiny. But poor Maria unfortunately got caught with the wrong honcho and her boyfriend helped get her in trouble for insider trading. Sad story, eh?

AND THE WINNER IS….

Jennifer Lopez. J-Lo. This was a tough one for me. However, Maria Checa looks a tad skinny and I don’t like her taste in men. Vanessa Del Rio just ain’t my type and seems, well, a little used. Also, she’s 57! J-Lo, by default, but also due to extraordinary hotness when she was younger, takes the victory this round.

Tags: Ben Affleck, blood, boyfriend, buddies, chicas, Columbia, Columbian, dancer, default, El Salvador, El Salvadorian, ese, Florida, honcho, Honeys, insider trading, J-Lo, Jennifer Lopez, latin, Marc Anthony, Maria, Maryland, Maryland Institute College of Art, Money, music videos, my type, NYPD Blue, old job, Playboy, Playboy Bunnies, playmate of the month, poor, pop singer, porn industry, porn star, singer, SKINNY, taste in men, twins, unfortunately, write something Filed under: Uncategorized