WATCHMEN (Warner Bros. 2009)
You know how you can really tell a movie sucks? Don’t pay any attention whatsoever to that big opening weekend box office number you sometimes see accompany big studio releases. What matters is the second weekend and the percentage the film drops in a full week due to word of mouth. If it’s a full 50% drop, the movie didn’t do so well with audiences and could lose a lot of money the longer it stays in theaters. Watchmen had a 67% drop in its second weekend indicating that not only general moviegoers weren’t too fond of the film but also devoted fans of the critically acclaimed graphic novel of the same name scribed by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. Also, it’s important to know that Watchmen was released on an R-rated record number of screens, a whopping 3166 across America. That makes director Zack Snyder’s opening weekend of just over $55 million a little less impressive although I wouldn’t mind that kind of dough in my piggy bank. But a drop of 67% the second week is just not good. In fact, it’s downright terrible and at close to three hours, it’s hard to stick through something if it’s not moving your forward. I criticize this movie on its ultra aggressive marketing campaign and forced promotional tactics on all of us. I just want a good film, douche bags. That’s all I ever wanted. It’s also why I don’t pay money to see your dumb ass films anymore. Capisce?
WATCH THIS INSTEAD
THE CROW (Miramax Films 1994)
Want to see a dark and twisted super cool super hero flick? Get your ass on to Netflix and put this baby into your “que” or hit up the local Blockbuster. It’s worth it. Worth it like you can’t imagine. I’m not coining this as the greatest film of all time. No. But it’s one of the most different “comic hero” movies of all time. First of all, the entire film is shot in a gray and dreary but strangely beautiful way that pulls in the eye. The plot remains well in line with the original story, a graphic novel written by James O’Barr. Craziest thing about this movie: Brandon Lee, who plays the main character, Eric Draven, died on the set of the movie due to a horrible malfunction with a gun holding dummy bullets. He had passed with only a few days left of filming and thus every scene of the film is haunting and eerie and trippy and one hell of an adventure. Do you believe in ghosts? This, is beyond your imagination.
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