4.30.2009
TODAY’S LESSON FROM THE DON:
“Wear a mask? Fuck the swine flu.”
Tell ‘em like it is, Don.
4.30.2009
TODAY’S LESSON FROM THE DON:
“Wear a mask? Fuck the swine flu.”
Tell ‘em like it is, Don.
BREAKING NEWS: World Health Organization raises alert to second-highest level, indicating swine flu nears widespread human infection.
CALIFORNIA DECLARES A STATE OF EMERGENCY
SWINE INFLUENZA PANDEMIC SPREADING GLOBALLY
Please, everyone, just CHILL THE HELL OUT!!! Remember the bird flu a few years back? How about SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome)? And don’t forget Ebola. Oh, and the mad cow disease! That one was fun too.
So, now, I’m going to do it: I’m going to let you in on some upcoming influenza the world will be freaking out about next.
EAGLE FLU – Tough one to kick however, this flu will give you an eagle eye
GIRAFFE FLU – Unfortunately, no immunization for this flu that makes your neck grow uncontrollably.
ZEBRA FLU - Get to the doctor quick before this flu turns your skin into a bunch of funky black and white stripes (might be cool for about a day).
HOUSE FLY FLU – This was is somewhat harmless but tends to buzz around all day and really piss you off.
GOLD FISH FLU – Whoever thought a fucking gold fish would give us the flu?
COCKROACH FLU – The filthiest most disgusting flu of them all, this flu is the one that officially makes mankind FUBAR.
