BATTLE OF THE BEASTS: WARRIOR BUGS VS PREDATORS
Many of you have surely seen one of the greatest action movies in the history of cinema, Predator. If you’ve been lucky to have seen Predator then there’s also a strong chance you’ve watched quirky science fiction/action flick Starship Troopers.
So, we know about the Predators, those bad ass hunters from another planet. We also know about the “bugs” (short for Arachnids in Starship Troopers) from planet Klendathu and how nasty and dangerous they are. But what if those mercenary Predators would happen to land on Planet Klendathu and have to go head to head with the “bugs”? Well, that’s why we’re here!
WARRIOR BUG
SIZE: 3-4 METERS TALL
Remember how nasty these bastards were at the beginning of Starship Troopers? And no, I haven’t read the book so don’t start jabbering about the book against the movie. Who cares? I’m just talking about the warrior bugs used by the Arachnids as their military against the humans.
Is it fair that these disgusting monsters stand between nine and twelve feet? Or that they can burrow or climb and are incredibly quick and nimble, not to mention their colors reflect their desert surroundings?
Not only is it not fair but it’s the least of your concerns with the warrior bugs. No, the main concern for our Predator in this battle would be their treacherous mandibles that have the power to crush metal or rock as well as their ‘side mandibles” used like an enormous sword to slice and dice the opposition. Yep, folks, that’s what we call some bad news.
As it was stated in the movie about the warrior bug’s efficiency as a killing machine: “it is said that they can lose a limb and still fight at 86% efficiency.” Now, that’s unfair.
THE PREDATOR
SIZE: 7 FT TALL
If you’re not a fan of the Predator, you’re a chump. This may just be the baddest son of a bitch in the universe pound for pound, in regards to the entire warrior culture. Standing seven feet tall and equipped with a wildly awesome arsenal of weapons, it’s no wonder Predators have been a part of counter pop culture for more than 20 years now. But could it match up with a warrior bug?
Luckily for the Predator in its fight against the warrior bug, it’s ridiculous strength is an advantage as well it’s ability to move willingly across rooftops and trees is a nice little talent to have. Also, their sight is based off heat, constantly adjusting to the elements surrounding them and refocusing their vision to fit the environment. However, this is only a function available to them if they’re wearing their specialty masks. Without the mask, their vision can’t easily form visible objects very well.
For the warrior bug, it have to be concerned with the spectacular weapons it has in Predators have in their possession. A large double-sided spear that shoots out at both ends when ready for fight. A disc-like blade that can cut through five humans standing in a row if needed. But its pride and joy might be the laser missle launcher it has perched up on its shoulder, a laser that will blow a hole the size of a hula hoop in whatever it hits. Also, Predators were designed to do nothing but hunt, something they’re so passionate about that if a hunting mission fails, they voluntarily commit honorable suicide by blowing themselves up. That’s serious dedication right there.
WHO WINS?
THE SAGE SAYS…Talk about tough! Although the warrior bug is two feet taller, the Predator was bred to hunt and fight and has more strategy than the bug who slashes at the Predator a few times, inflicting him with two big lacerations across his body. As the bug rears up to unleash its death blow, the Predator dips underneath and plunges his spear upward directly into the gut of the bug. The Predator steps back as the warrior bugs tries to recoup from its devastating wound. Sensing vulnerability, the Predator aims his missle launcher at the bug’s head area and sends a laser that blows the warrior bug to smithereens. GAME OVER.
PREDATOR WINS!
No doubt Predator wins. His whole modus operandi is traveling to strange new places and killing the locals. We know, through cinema how he fared against the Xenomorphs of Alien. Wonder how the ‘bugs’ would do against Sigourney Weaver’s progeny?
As an aside, you should read the book Starship Troopers. It’s a pretty quick read at just over 100 pages and not at all like the movie. I enjoyed both but for completely different reasons.
Since you said that I will definitely have to take that book into consideration. Appreciate the comment, my friend. Lemme know if you’d like a free hat of the site. You can hit me up at thesage@stoppopculture.com if interested. Always a pleasure.