I came up with some rules to live, ones I think are worth mentioning. If you have any other suggestions, please send them over to thesage@stoppopculture.com!
RULE #1
Never upset a man with a lot of tattoos on his neck.
RULE #2
Never wear a fannypack (it’s okay if you’re a girl but still looks lame)
RULE #3
Never talk about Paris Hilton unless you’re referring to her as “stupid”. If not, leave the immediate area or risk an immediate ass-kicking.
RULE #4
Don’t piss off the cops. Remember: they can beat the shit out of you and get away with it. In fact, they can kill you and get away with it. Always something to consider.
RULE #5
Never believe anything the government tells you. They lie to you because they have to. Trust me, we don’t even want to know half of the truth.
RULE #6
Don’t do meth (or crack, or coke, or heroin).
RULE #7
Always tip. It could mean the difference between good service and someone pissing in your soup broth.
RULE #8
If you want to follow a team, follow the Raiders. Even if they suck, at least they have the coolest colors and the best logo in all of sports. So, no matter what, you’ll look good.
TO BE CONTINUED…
I believe a quote from Grammy-award winning recording artist Whitney Houston is appropriate in this situation. And that is… “Crack is whack”