Now, what if I told you they were all used?
Archive for June 19th, 2009
STOP FORGETTING THESE CHILD STARS
Friday, June 19th, 2009
Why are we always referring to the Lindsay Lohans and Drew Barrymores when we talk about child stars? It’s as if none of the other girls who enjoyed success in Hollywood get any love, unless they get arrested or die of an overdose.
I figured it’d only be nice to give some of the other child stars a little recognition.
JODIE SWEETEN (Stephanie Tanner – Full House)
Our little Stephanie has grown up a lot. A little too fast but grown up nonetheless. Miss Sweetin tried to play games with meth and lost, getting arrested for driving under the influence with her daughter in the backseat. I don’t think I remember any lessons about meth on Full House.
from Rudy to…
KEISHA KNIGHT PULLIAM (Rudy Huxtable – The Cosby Show)
Wow. W-O-W. WOW! Can’t really say much more than that after seeing this stunning beauty give Theo, Vanessa, Denise, Sondra, Mrs. Huxtable and the Cos trouble as a elementary school girl only to grow up into SHE BANGS!!! Keisha, you have now achieved the status of a goddess. We kneel before you. Yes, gentlemen, kneel down and show some love.
SOLEIL MOON FRYE (Punky Brewster – Punky Brewster)
That quirky, bubbly little outcast, Punky Brewster, sure was a hit with television audiences across the nation back in the ’80′s but, did you know what ever happened to sweet Punky? Well, sweet Punky became SUPER SEXY PUNKY and, I guess, never looked back. You know what else is awesome about her? She didn’t wind up on crack, or robbing a store, or OD’ing like so many of our child stars of the past. Rock on, Punky. Rock on.
from Claudia to..
LACEY CHABERT (Claudia Salinger – Party of Five)
Seems Lacey has gone from a Party of Five to a super sexy party of one. This lady took her sex appeal to a new dimension as an adult, her pictures barely recognizable if matched against her un-developed pictures of yesteryear. Best thing is, it doesn’t matter. I’m saluting her.
from Harriett the Spy to…
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG (Harriett – Harriett The Spy)
Even though she didn’t have a role on a hit tv show like many other child stars, Trachtenberg was still in Hollywood as a very young girl and continues to work there to this day, getting more popular each year. She’s another one of my secret crushes since she looks so damn cute and so damn “girl-next-door” that I’d like her to be living next door but unfortunately I don’t pull in the kind of loot that she does. Maybe one day. Anyhow, she’s become a very pretty lady and keep an eye out for her in the future since I do believe she’ll blow up. And here’s hoping she does a nude pic somewhere down the road. Or at least takes one for me.
from Ashley to…
TATYANA ALI (Ashley Banks – Fresh Prince of Bel Air)
Ashley Banks was always such a sweet, innocent pre-teen on Fresh Prince of Bel Air that you fell in love with her just because she was so damn adorable. Then, as she became a teenager, as a teenage boy you were starting to think little Ashley would be nice to go on a date with. When she turned into a blossoming woman, you just settled for the fact that little Ashley was now Tatyana Ali and had a few REALLY SEXY pics up on the web. So you got some. And used them. For this particular section. Not that I know who this person would be.
from Samantha to…
ALYSSA MILANO (Samantha Miceli – Who’s The Boss?)
I think, and this is only an estimate, I’ve watched Who’s The Boss? maybe five times in my life. But I know who Alyssa Milano is. More than I know who Tony friggin’ Danza is. Guess why? One of them later became one of the finest women in Hollywood. Any guy who doesn’t think Alyssa Milano is a knockout is either a) gay, b) blind, or c) dead. This is also the reason Alyssa, unlike any of the other honey’s above, got three pictures up. Miss Milano, you win. Praise the Lord!
HOW DOES SHE WIPE HER ASS?
Friday, June 19th, 2009
No, seriously: is there any human way to wipe your ass with 2 foot nails on your fingers?
