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Archive for June 27th, 2009
UN-TRANSFORMING TRANSFORMERS 2
Saturday, June 27th, 2009
Transformers 2: Optimus Prime, Decepticons, Megan Fox and Racism!
Good movie. Not perfect. Not great. Not terrible, Not mediocre. Just good.
First things first, Optimus Prime and the Autobots are back again, this time as part of a military affiliate program teaming the U.S. military with members of the Autobots. It’s been working well, but also has been destroying the shit out of the entire planet while fighting off Decepticons that have continued to try to take the reigns of earth. Basically, this is the story of the Decepticons making a comeback because of their ancestors and getting close to taking over the planet. Sort of the same as the first one but because it has the #2 attached to it, we’ll just say it’s a brand new story.
THE BAD
Chicks – Every time we see a hot girl in Transformers 2 (more than you’d imagine), they totally doll out and fake up the girl. Lip gloss, too much make-up and too much shit with the hair. If they’re hot, they’re hot. We can figure it out with our own eyes, jerk-offs. Don’t cake them up. It makes them look worse.
Transformers & Black People – I don’t know if it’s Michael Bay or the studio or the writers but someone is a little too obsessed with the wrong part of black culture in the making of this movie. Two in a row and we’ve seen a dumb ass black sidekick Autobot that sounds way too ghetto, way too stupid and way too unrealistic. This time it’s two of them, constantly fighting and one even has a gold tooth! Ridiculous. I don’t think the filmmakers are trying to be racist, honestly, but they’ve made an already bad decision even worse this time around.
Megatron & Starscream – I don’t like that Megatron and Starscream look similar. I know one’s a fighter jet and whatnot but their colors are almost one in the same. Megatron is also bigger and likes to bitch the smaller one around, but still, not good enough. Change it back to the old school story, Megatron transforms into a gun and Starscream is the gunman. That would change everything. Until then, I’m disappointed with these two again.
THE BAD ASS
Optimus Prime – For one, to have an old granddaddy Decepticon refer to Optimus Prime as simply ‘Prime’ was pretty pimped out. Second thing, Optimus Prime is turning into the slickest, coolest, most unstoppable bad ass motherfucker in the land of superheroes. Right now, I want to be Optimus Prime. He’s such a hard ass that every other scene in this movie has him beating the ever loving shit out more than one Decepticon. And the way he turns Megatron into his personal bitch more than once in the movie is worth buying this movie for.
Bumblebee – I expect Optimus Prime to kick major ass but not Bumblebee. I know he’s toughh, he’s a friggin’ Transformer, but still, not this tough. Bumblebee destroys all Decepticons in his path in Revenge of the Fallen, wiping his ass with each one that steps to him. He also calls Shia Lebeuf out for waking him up from a good nap just to murder a bunch of mini-Decepticons. Don’t wake up Bumblebee, asshole!
John Turturro- Good thing a good actor is in this movie because it allows you to focus on one person during the scenes he’s in. No need to search this flick for an Academy Award nominee because it might be up for a Razzie (Academy Awards for worst movie of the year) when it’s all said and done. At least you can enjoy Turturro’s moments and laugh a little. Still, it’s not his best work by a longshot, but it’s something
Megan Fox – It’s sad to say this but the makers of Transformers, both 1 & 2, should be very lucky to have Megan Fox on board. Even funnier, they barely give her any lines and she’s probably the only actor in the movie that matters. That’s just the real truth. People say she can’t act for shit. I say, let me see her act a little and let us judge for ourselves. But, I sat in that theater and looked around every time she was on the screen. Every man and boy in that theater had their eyes glued on her. She’ll only continue to get bigger.
