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SMOKING 420 AND CHILLIN’…IN THE FRIDGE???

Friday, July 31st, 2009

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I’m having a little trouble understanding this picture. I get the weed, I get the pipe, I get the smoking the weed in the pipe. Now, what the f**k is with the fridge?!?!

A MALE STONER’S DREAM

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

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I guess the only question now is: Do I take the one on the left or the one on the right?

GIANT CATFISH OR BABY WHALE SHARK?

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

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It’s a baby whale shark which should give you an idea of how big these fish can get, sometimes over 55 feet.

MA’AM, YOUR BUSH IS COVERED WITH WEED

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

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But I think it’s good weed.

WHY I DON’T HIKE

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

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I hate spiders. After seeing this freaky bastard walk off with a poisonous coral snake, I’m not looking forward to an evening filled with nightmares.

KEEP IT DOWN, MAN, KEEP IT DOWN!!!

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

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Note for guys: if this ever happens to you, go to the bathroom until you get your peepee under control.

IT’S A JOINT, IT’S A BLUNT, IT’S GANJA GIRL!

Monday, July 27th, 2009

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By the way, she’s my new favorite superhero.

DESCENDING INTO THE DESCENT

Sunday, July 26th, 2009

The Descent

The Descent is about as good as a horror movie can get, freaky, thrilling, horrifying and bloody all at the same time. From beginning to end you’re never allowed to rest or get up or even scratch yourself since your eyes and ears are completely fixed on the screen.

I’m fascinated with horror movies the same way we’re all interested in that car crash on the freeway. We don’t want to look but we do anyways. That’s how I am with horror movies so, I guess, I’m a victim to its ability to grab you even if you’re not willing to be grabbed.

But here’s a movie that doesn’t exactly give you traditional horror with all the campy tongue-in-cheek cliches an d lines that most of us have become accustomed to. No, The Descent gives you everything you were hoping it wouldn’t in the best way possible. 

Mainly, it will give you nightmares and make you dwell on it long after you’ve finished with it. That’s a good thing for the sake of the movie. It’s not such a good thing for you because it will make you feel uncomfortable but only a truly good film can evoke those feelings well.

The movie follows six girlfriends, all of them tough and spunky, each with their own characteristics (a rare find for women in the horror genre). Most of them are adrenaline junkies pulled together in a cabin for a cave exploring adventure in the Appalachians.

It’s an idea hitched by the toughest lady of the group, Juno (Natalie Mendoza), sort of in the mold of a Lara Croft/Ellen Ripley/tough girl role. She’s got a plan for them to explore a particular cave and she’s got the maps for it, or so we think.

In the opening minutes, we’re presented with a situation that feels so horrific you’re unable to figure out how the movie can really get much worse from there. It’s about the main character, Sarah (Shauna MacDonald), who suffers through an absolutely traumatic experience that alters her life.

Juno’s reasoning for pulling together the six girls for cave exploring is to help reinvigorate Sarah from her turmoil and distress, hoping a thrilling adventure with friends will bring her back to normalcy, or at least close to it.

The six girls venture into the cave only to find themselves stuck when a rock blocks their path back out. Oops! Now they’re trapped inside a cave that was previously thought to be discovered when, in fact, it had never been.

What ensues is pure terror beyond your worst imagination, those things that go bump in the night come right back to bite you hard in the ass. The situation these girls are in gets worse and worse, never letting up, keeping your heart pounding to the very end.

British writer/director Neil Marshall really gives it to you hard in this movie, using the women (maybe purposely) to get your nerves riled up even more than had it been six men instead. That he made these women tough, gritty but very human, made it even easier to relate to them and to root for them during their inescapable feat.

One of the most brutal things about this film is how the six women bond together to fight the forces of inevitable claustrophobia and, while that’s hard enough, there’s something lurking beneath, a creature that makes the mountain mutants of The Hills Have Eyes look like Sesame Street.

It’s this kind of constant drama and excitement that drives the movie forward, seemingly never pausing for a breath, pounding you over the head with one harsh moment after another until you feel you can’t take it anymore. Unfortunately, you have to and it doesn’t get any better.

Fighting to escape the cave is difficult enough but when their next obstacle stands in their way, the audience knows they’re truly screwed and in a virtually impossible dilemma to escape from.

One thing to note here about this movie: watch everything and try to keep your ears perked up for the sounds of the film are just as important as the visuals. The noises their opposition makes in the caves are haunting and jarring.

There’s also the notion of the creatures living in the cave being realistic, something I believe truly turns this movie into a gem. At first, you’re only hearing their sounds but when the creatures are revealed and explained, it’s something you can completely fathom.

I saw Neil Marshall’s director’s cut and read online how the American version ended, giving it two endings on DVD that you can choose from. My suggestion is to go ahead and watch Marshall’s version since it’s his vision and the difference in the endings are pretty slim, however, significant enough for the viewer to leave the movie feeling a different way.

For me, although Marshall’s cut was nothing short of exceptional, I prefer the American ending. But this is more due to the fact that I’m a sucker for that kind of ending, one where there’s a slight ray of hope (although not much). The original ending is extremely tough to swallow but maybe more realistic so choose what you feel fits you better.

All in all, I can’t think of one thing this movie does wrong other than having a different preference for the ending than most. Again, I’m probably in the minority there. Other than that, this is as good of a horror movie as I’ve ever seen, never letting up, never letting you come up for air and never letting you believe for one second that it’s a good idea to explore caves ever in your life time. 

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THIS CAT HAS HOPS!

Sunday, July 26th, 2009

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By far one of the most physically awesome displays by an animal ever seen. The Lakers are offering a 5 year contract worth $75 million.

LUCKY CLOWN?

Friday, July 24th, 2009

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Lucky clown or just shitfaced? Maybe both?

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