THEY LIVE AMONGST YOU

Monday, July 20th, 2009

Ever had something ENORMOUS buzzing around your head? Do you swear it had a huge stinger or mandibles ready to attack and poison you?

Well, you might just be right!

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Tarantula Hawk (Pepsis formosa)

Not too many insects can claim the can handle a spider and only one insect can claim it can kick a tarantula’s ass. The tarantula hawk is a one of a kind wasp with a big attitude and an even bigger stinger. It’s called a tarantula hawk because it friggin’ hunts tarantulas. To be exact, only female tarantula hawks seek out spiders for the purpose of providing a meal for their offspring. The female wasp searches for a spider burrow and swoops down to start a fight, intruding on the spider’s dwelling and forcing it out. A fight ensues where the wasp will sting the hairy arachnid, paralyzing it. It will then proceed to lay a single egg on the immobilized spider. The tarantula hawk’s larvae will hatch from its egg and suck out the juices of the frozen but still alive spider. As the larvae grows, it will eat out the insides of the tarantula. YUMMY! Also, a fact you should know: Tarantula hawk stings are considered one of the most painful stings in the world although it will not kill you.

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Tsetse Fly (savannah, riverine, forest species)

After learning about the tsetse fly, you’ll be glad you’ve only got the common housefly buzzing around your head obnoxiously. In Africa, they don’t do the common housefly. Nope, Africa does the tsetse fly or, the tsetse fly does Africa. What’s worse is that these nasty little bastards look very similar to houseflies but their wings sit on top of one another when resting and it’s got an enormously long proboscis to better bite you and me with. When it’s biting the people of Africa the tsetse fly is definitely at its worst since it infects its victims with something called trypanosomiases, fatal diseases that cause sleeping sickness and something called nagana in cattle. It would really suck to leave this world at the hands or proboscis of a damn fly. .

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Mosquito (genus Anopheles)

The mosquito is not only one of the most unliked creatures on the planet, but statistically, it’s the deadliest animal in the world and it’s not even close. Why it’s deadly is another story, having nothing to do with anything the mosquito is born with. What makes the mosquito (especially the genus mentioned above) so freaky is the diseases it carries and transmits through biting. Known to affect 10% of the entire world’s population, the mosquito makes its infamous claim to fame by infecting its victims with yellow fever, dengue fever and the worst of all, malaria which kills over 2 million people a year. That’s a hell of a murder rap for such a tiny little animal. Anyways, next time you see a mosquito on the wall, SQUISH THE SHIT OUT OF IT and consider it payback.

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Human Bot Fly aka Torsalo (Dermatobia hominis)

This is one of the most disgusting and disturbing creatures on the planet, especially in regards to humans. While most bot flies tend to prey upon mammals, human bot flies are the only ones known to specifically attack us. That’s not good news. Strangely, adult bot flies have nonfuntional mouth parts so they leave the feeding of human flesh to their young ones, the fat maggot-like larvae. They penetrate any natural opening or burrow through the skin and begin to chow down, swelling up on subdermal juice until their larvae stage is complete after about 20-60 days, forming a pupae and dislodging themselves from the wound. If you want more description, go to youtube and watch someone who’s been infected. Pretty disgusting.

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Asian Giant Hornet aka Japanese Hornet (Vespa mandarinia)

One of the meanest insects on the planet, the asian giant hornet aka the Japanese hornet and, my favorite name, the Yak-killer. That should tell you the temperament of these flying, stinging insects that have a nasty, NASTY attitude and a penchant for ripping honeybees to shreds. At about two inches long, these gigantic hornets send about 300 of their maniacal soldiers out to raid neighboring honeybee hives that hold up to 30,000 bees. But, unfortunately for our happy little honeybee, their enemy can wipe out the entire hive in a few minutes, decapitating and dismembering their bee counterparts to pieces. Sounds like a good time. If you’re ever in Japan and you hear something buzzing, RUN!

Now THAT’S a blunt!

Monday, July 20th, 2009

huge-blunt

Go get ‘em, kid. You’re a winner.