In honor of all the medical marijuana talk going on these days, I wanted to really hone in on some our greatest stoner characters of all time. There’s so many ways to go with this but I wanted to try to combine real life stoner celebrities with fictional ones to possibly come up with a more entertaining list. I’m not including marijuana activists (other than celebrities) in this list because those guys deserve their own, separate category for best activist.
You’ll disagree with some and agree with others which is good because I’ve always wondered: who IS the greatest stoner of all time. Also, this is for the greatest stoner not stoners so don’t expect famous stoner groups (Cheech & Chong, Harold & Kumar). Please enjoy the list and don’t forget to pass the J.
*This listed was intended to be only 10 entries but…well, let’s just say I was interrupted, and the list suddenly expanded to 21 entries instead.
21. Method Man (rapper and member of Wu-Tang Clan)
Method Man came onto the hip-hop scene with a storm because he had a very unique voice, delivery and a penchant for weed. He also loved hanging out with Redman, another huge marijuana advocate. Not only did they have a television show together (it was canceled quick) but their stoner flick, How High?, has become a classic in the world of weed.
Weedy Moment – Tical was so high all the time that he had his Lincoln Navigator seized and found out he owed $52K in back taxes when the state of New York’s Department of Taxation showed up at his door at 6am on March 19 with the NYPD.
20. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (NBA’s all-time points leader)
Yes, it’s the same superstar 7-footer with the beautiful, deadly sky hook shot that was probably the most indefensible shot in basketball history. Kareem also won 6 MVP’s, 6 championships and was selected to 19 All-Star games. Oh, and he likes the reefer. He experimented heavily with it during his years as a dominant center for UCLA which is funny because another Hall of Fame stoner, Bill Walton, comes from John Wooden’s Bruins dynasty. He also had a memorable cameo appearance in the great classic comedy, Airplane!.
Weedy Moment – Got caught with six grams of herb at the Toronto airport back in 1996 but paid a $500 fine and was released.
19. Bill Gates (Owner, co-founder of Microsoft)
Yes, my friends, the absolute richest man in all of the United States (Warren Buffett is just behind him) is also an experimental type (probably why Microsoft was even created in the first place) that has dabbled in LSD and, of course, has had many affairs with Miss Mary Jane. In fact, a long-known fact in the cannabis culture is that Mr. Gates broke up with a former girlfriend in Amsterdam, marijuana’s mecca of the world.
Weedy Moment – Only thing that comes to mind is that Bill’s been so stoned the last decade that he kind of let Apple and Google onto his playing field.
18. Jack Nicholson (acting superstar)
If you’re a Lakers fan, this shouldn’t surprise you as Jack ALWAYS looks high (what’s with the damn sunglasses???) sitting courtside to watch the purple and gold pound the hardwood. If you’ve seen any of his movies, his reputation as a toker is further cemented by the characters he always plays. Even when Jack flips out, he’s doing so in a fairly “chill” manner, don’t you think? If you happen upon a Lakers game anytime soon, observe Jack on the sidelines for a moment and you’ll see he’s clearly ripped.
Weedy Moment – One could say his main weedy moment is the fact he may be too high to know which kids are coming from which women (5 kids, 4 women…so far).
17. Shaggy (from Scooby Doo)
Scooby almost made the list but he couldn’t quite get in, partly because of his ultra-stoned sidekick, Shaggy. Shaggy walked, talked and acted blown every episode and never disappoints. His incredible appetite when he comes down with the munchies is astonishing, stacking up hoagie sandwiches and making them disappear in one bite. Sure, it’s a cartoon but you can’t knock Shaggy’s contribution to cannabis culture.
Weedy Moment – Every episode Shaggy was so blasted he was seeing ghosts and his best friend was a talking dog. His character was a weedy moment.
16. Dave Chappelle (Chappelle Show, Half-Baked)
When Half-Baked came out in 1998, my friend and I saw it opening weekend with maybe ten other people in the theater. We laughed and laughed and laughed, the opening scene at the convenient store setting the tone for the entire movie. I remember Chappelle being funny in Robin Hood: Men in Tights but he was playing a stoner way too good in this movie. When Comedy Central starting airing his show, I knew Chappelle would be referencing weed a lot. He did, the show was one of the funniest of all time but he couldn’t stand being handcuffed by a television station so he walked away after three seasons. This is still a very depressing sequence of events for fans of the show as so many stoners came together in unison to be entertained by Mr. Chappelle. Now, we haven’t heard from him in a while. 
Weedy Moment – Went ape-shit, walked away from a $50-million dollar deal with Comedy Central and wound up in South Africa…and probably smoked a fat spliff there too.
15. John Lennon (Beatles)
How do you choose between John Lennon and Bob Dylan? Well, when you read Dylan’s paragraph you’ll understand why he beat John Lennon out. However, Lennon was a big time stoner, an amazing musician, was a huge reason the Beatles broke up (Yoko Ono being the biggest reason), and was murdered by some jerk-off who didn’t believe in freedom. John would’ve still been alive, happy and smoking a doob today if it wasn’t for that maniacal motherfucker!
Weedy Moment – Married Yoko Ono. Possibly he had been smoking a little too much?
14. Bob Dylan (superstar musician and lyricist)
If you like music, you’ve probably heard of Bob Dylan. If you haven’t, there’s something wrong with your circle of music friends. This man has written some of the best songs in the history of music. I don’t even like his music and I can admit that! Oh, yeah, and Bob likes his weed. And, Bob beats out John because Bob introduced John and the rest of the Beatles to herb. Bob is a kind and giving soul.
Weedy Moment – Crashed his motorcycle back in 1966 and broke a few vertebrae in his back according to him. He was probably too ripped or going too fast or both.
13. Tom Petty (Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers)
He had a huge hit song called “Last Dance With Mary Jane” which, if you’ve never heard it, even if you’re not into rock, check it out ASAP! Great song and Tom Petty’s a great singer and has been around a long time churning out hits. His line “let’s roll another joint” is another one of his references to cannabis. Also, if you’ve ever seen his hair, you’d have to assume Mr. Petty likes the reefer more than your average person.
Weedy Moment – Every time he’s publicly asked about weed he just smiles and says nothing (this is the best I could do since Petty doesn’t really have a good weedy moment).
12. Bill Murray (actor, Ghostbusters, Stripes)
There’s something about Bill Murray that makes me people laugh when he’s on screen. In fact, he doesn’t even have to say a word and you’ll laugh at one of his many facial expressions. When you learn that Murray is truly a big time pothead, you start to understand his overall body of work a little better. Ever noticed how he never really got too excited about anything? Happy, yes, but always very low-key. When you’re stoned, it’s not easy to get super super excited because you’re a little too stuck to do so.
Weedy Moment – Bill seemed too high to even realize that his ex-wife knew all about him traveling across the world for an affair.
11. Smokey from Friday
You may be wondering why I didn’t just list Chris Tucker but I don’t know if he’s a pothead or not in real life. But the original Friday movie where Tucker plays Ice Cube’s constantly stoned best friend, Smokey, he knocks it out of the park. If you’ve seen Friday, Smokey is always the first person everyone talks about. He was hilarious and smoked a lot of weed, so much so that he got into trouble with Big Worm, the neighborhood drug dealer.
Weedy Moment – Smoked so much weed that he owes Big Worm $200 by 10pm or he’s a dead man (in the movie, at leaset).
10. Oliver Stone (director, Platoon, Born on the 4th of July)
Platoon still ranks as the best war movie I’ve ever seen and Oliver Stone, the director, is still one of the greatest director’s I’ve seen in my time. Many of the scenes from Platoon were based on his tour in Vietnam, including the classic scene in the bunker with his unit smoking Vietamese reefer and listening to some tunes. His movies always seem to have references to drugs and, if you’ve seen Natural Born Killers, you’ll probably think the director was under the influence while directing it. Nonetheless, Oliver’s a big believer in cannabis and a hell of a director.
Weedy Moment – Got caught in 1968 trying to cross the border from Mexico with two ounces of dope.
9. Woody Harrelson (actor, White Men Can’t Jump, People v. Larry Flynt)
Woody’s known to have been a stoner for a long time, someone who clearly believes in the legalization of the plant. He’s always been candid during his discussion on the matter and doesn’t even mind being caught on camera with a pipe as you can see pictures of him toking up all over the web. He’s also on the NORML advisory board.
Weedy Moment – Decided to scale the Golden Gate Bridge with other protesters to demand the protection of an ancient redwood forest. There are other ways to handle this, Woody.
8. Willie Nelson (country singer)
I can’t stand country music but I like Willie Nelson, always symbolic of someone I that you would call “chill”. He’s a character but not a loud or obnoxious one but rather a talented musician who had a lot of demons that he abused with alcohol and coke but discovered a skunky green plant that he claims saved his life: marijuana. Willie’s always been a huge advocate Miss Mary Jane and just about every stoner on the planet knows who this man is.
Weedy Moment – In 1990, the IRS informed Mr. Nelson he owed them $16.7 million in back taxes, apparently the result of expired tax shelters his financial advisers put him into…or he was too ripped to ever check his finances in the first place.
7. Dr. Dre (producer, rapper)
This one might surprise some people but I had to consider revolutionary aspects of the greatest stoners. Because of that, it’s hard to deny Dr. Dre who’s 1995 juggernaut of an album, The Chronic, blew the doors off of rap and turned it into a mainstream juggernaut that was beating out rock ‘n’ roll music. Mainstream America had no idea what the hell chronic meant on the streets until Dre told them. It became symbolic of the best kind of weed you could find…until kush came along. Oh, boy.
Weedy Moment – Many of them as he’s been arrested numerous times for everything from assault to failing to show up on scheduled court dates. Obviously, Dre is still smoking that chronic!
6. Cheech (from Cheech & Chong)
We all know about Cheech and Chong, the most famous duo in the history of marijuana. For this list, it was only necessary to split them and put them individually in the top 5. After tons of comedy albums and movies devoted to the stoner culture, it’s an ode to their endless image within the pot community. Also, you can always get a crack out of Cheech’s name which derives from a fried Mexican pork skin snack called chicharron.
Weedy Moment – Got stupid and sampled the “space coke” in Cheech & Chong’s Next Movie that causes him to go ape-shit and rip a hole in the side of the house.
5. Jeff Spicoli (stoner, surfer-dude from Fast Times at Richmont High)
Played by Sean Penn, Jeff Spicoli is the greatest high school toker in the history of cinema. Don’t play me the Slater routine from Dazed and Confused as he was a solid stoner but by no means the best. Spicoli, on the other hand, nailed the character so good, it’s hard to remember much else from the movie other than a topless Phoebe Cates emerging from the pool soaking wet (two thumbs up!). Anyhow, Jeff Spicoli is forever remembered for his surfer-dude lingo and of course my favorite line: “Well, make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?”
Weedy Moment – Almost too stoned to graduate history, prompting his history teacher, Mr. Hand, to force Spicoli to pass his exam on the night of the Prom. Fortunately for us all, Spicoli passes and makes it to the prom.
*I’m the first to admit that these last four could be arranged in any way and I’d be satisfied. This was just the order I settled on in the end.
4. The Dude (The Big Lebowski)
I actually had a lot of trouble deciding between Spicoli and the Dude four a place in the top four but, because the Dude abides, he got the nod. White Russians, a robe and a joint was the Dude’s simple but spot-on uniform of a middle-aged stoner. To the tune of Creedence Clearwater Revival, Jeff Bridges plays the Dude as laid back as anyone has ever been played. He slowly glides through the film in a weed-induced coma that has him figuring out the puzzle by the end. Apparently, the Coen brothers wrote the Dude specifically for Jeff Bridges to play.
Weedy Moment – Buying half and half with a check for 69 cents to was the perfect weedy moment to open up the movie.
3. Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong)
Tommy Chong not only plays the classic Anthony Stoner character (they rarely ever mentioned his real movie name in the series) but his ties to cannabis in real life separate him from Cheech. The Canadian was in the spotlight a few years ago when he was arrrested for selling drug paraphernalia (this means “bongs”) through the internet by a company his son owned. A few documentaries (The United States Government v. Thomas B. Kin Chong, a/k/a Chong) go deeper into the controversy around that. But, his legal problems only added more supporters. He’s so popular in the cannabis community that they sometimes refer to a big joint as a Chonger.
Weedy Moment – For me, nothing beats Chong smashing a cockroach with his fist, putting it into a bong and smoking it.
*This qualifies as the weediest moment of everyone on the list.
2. Snoop Dogg (rapper)
It’s the D-O-Double-Gee! Snoop is so high all the time you often wonder if he’s a blunt in a human’s body. Dre was responsible for discovering Snoop and for the Chronic but the D-O-Double-Gee helped blow that album up beyond control. He’s also always talking about how high he is, holding a blunt, has stoplight-red eyes and is about as chill as it gets. His voice only makes him more of a stoner as he delivers it with a smooth and easygoing southern California inflection. He can’t even make or appear in a movie without some reference to marijuana. It’s hard to escape the weed persona when you have a blunt wrap named after you.
Weedy Moment – His variety show, Doggy Fizzle Televizzle. The name says it all.
AND THE #1 STONER OF ALL TIME IS…
1. Bob Marley (superstar musician and Rastafarian)
So, after sorting through such a great list of entertainers and fictional characters, it all came down to Bob Marley, reggae and freedom extraordinaire. I’m not the person who has a lot of music by Marley, only a few songs actually, but his image resonates in the pot community more than anyone else. It actually dawned on me as I went through everyone and wondered who could legitimately claim the #1 spot and have the best argument. Bob Marley came out on top because every headshop in America has a picture of him somewhere, 75% of stoners have an image of him somewhere and 99% of all stoners have listened to his music. Basically, the percentages kept pointing in his direction. Marley would never tell you he was a stoner as he believed marijuana wasn’t a drug because it was natural and also played a daily role in his beliefs as a Rastafarian. That he died so early at the age of 32 was terribly tragic but it also turned him into perhaps the most iconic and symbolic stoner of them all.
Weedy Moment – He doesn’t have one because he’s #1.
