Five more nominations for best picture?

While you’re at it, tag on another five nominations at the Grammy’s for album of the year.

Let’s add ten more teams to all professional sports leagues.

And since we’re being so generous, how about we have five more presidential candidates presidents every four years.

While opinion will always be objective, there’s greatness sought in many awards. Do you know the reason for this? Because only a rare few truly qualify for an award’s elite status. Possibly the single most prodigious accolade in all of entertainment, is the Academy Award. The Oscar for Best Picture, lives on forever, in history and our minds. When it comes to the screen, even the greatest television actors would gloat over an Academy Award more so than an Emmy. Be that as it may, disagreements about which five nominations for each category will burn on between film enthusiasts. But, at the end of the day, the picks for Best Picture have always been pretty good. I can’t remember an Academy Awards year where every single nomination for the biggest award all sucked. Again, I’ve disagreed with some, but not many. Part of its recognition was due to the fact that only five films get nominated from an Academy of over two thousand voters. If you think about it, that’s a large number of people. These folks work in the industry and know how tough it is to make a movie. Sure, the big studios dish out a lot of dough to market their critically acclaimed films each year, but the indies get their love for the most part. It’s not perfect but nothing ever is.

So here we are, the 83th Academy Awards coming on February 27th and we have ten nominations to choose from! Why? The excuse for its change is silly. Changing up the Academy Awards actually doesn’t work as last year’s show (the first in which ten Best Picture nominations were introduced) was rather boring and didn’t really do the films that were nominated much justice. What’s strange is how they only do ten nominations for Best Picture but left the other categories with their original five nods. This wasn’t one of the better years in film but let’s take a look at the ten nominations.

Black Swan, The Fighter, Inception, The Kids Are All Right, The King’s Speech, 127 Hours, The Social Network, Toy Story 3, True Grit, Winter’s Bone

Let’s not delve into which movies deserve a nod and which don’t. But, come on, people! It’s not hard to pick five out of these ten. You did it for eighty one years so obviously it’s been working. Now we have an extra five films to sort through and try to watch before the Awards on February 27th. I guess, my biggest question to the Academy or the producers of the show or whoever made this silly decision is: what’s your argument?

How can you argue that ten nominations is better than five? What makes it better to plug in ten different movies throughout a three and half hour telecast instead of a mere five? Believe me, audiences won’t be able to remember all ten by the time the Best Picture winner is announced at the end of the night. Many folks will be turning to their friends or significant other asking “okay, what were those ten films again?” because they’ll only remember about five or six at the most.

Sadly, I believe this turn into ten nominations has now given viewers even more distrust for the Academy than ever before. If you guys can’t even decide on the five best films in a given year, who are we to trust anymore in regards to great films? Look, I’m not trying to be an Oscar Nazi but this change of function for the Best Picture makes this prestigious awards show look messy and confused.

So, pretty please, with a cherry on top, change the format back to five nominations. Don’t do it because I say so or anyone else demands it. Do it to honor great films. Do it to honor a great awards ceremony. Do it to honor the history of cinema. Do it to honor greatness in general. Do it because the movie-watching public puts their faith in your opinions to determine the best films of the year. Ten makes it seem like you’re picking ten of your favorite films of the year rather than the best.

However, until then, how about making the Grammy’s worth watching again?

First of all, I’m not listing any of these in order. It’s pointless. Too many of these guys have reached an elite status to the point where they’re all just incredibly gifted and putting numbers on them only makes it appear like one is that much better than the other. So, because of that, I’m not claiming any of the greatest to be THE GREATEST, but rather, all of them are worthy of the title to some degree.

First up is delivery. The word is defined as an act to convey. To take it from one place to another. So, in the craft of emceeing, delivery refers to how the rapper takes his words from mouth to microphone. It’s a combination of the sound of their voice, inflection and tone. Some would confuse this with flow but they’re wrong. That’s another element of rapping that makes up the art of emceeing. This list is solely about delivery, so make sure to forget about lyrics, flow or any other parts of emceeing you may think a particular rapper lacks. These are the top delivery MC’s of all time.

Tupac

I hope nobody reads this and makes one of those ridiculous faces like I don’t know what I’m talking about. Old school, new school or whatever your hip hop tastes may be, there is no denying Tupac’s incredibly harmonious and commanding delivery. When ‘Pac was on the mic, everyone knew. He stepped up and took every beat hostage and had his way with it. It didn’t matter whether the song was slow or fast, thoughtful or gangster, Tupac always came hard. There’s really not much more to add other than the fact that ‘Pac, without a doubt, had one of the greatest emcee deliveries of all time.

Biggie Smalls

Sorry to put these two one after another just like everyone else but it’s pretty much inevitable here as their feud was party sparked because both rappers were incredibly gifted. That both had an amazing and distinctive delivery made the rivalry even better because their songs were always put down with authority. While Biggie didn’t come quite as hard as his west coast rival, his laid back but melodic delivery was sometimes almost beautiful to listen to. Just hear him flip it on Notoriouis Thugs or his remix of Goin’ Back to Cali and just enjoy how good his voice sounds over a beat. Biggie was notorious but his delivery was silky.

Eminem

It’s a mid-western voice that sometimes seems like it’s being rapped through his nostrils but you can’t knock the power of Em’s delivery. While it can sound whiny, his sound hooks you in right away especially since it’s usually coming at you like a machine gun. Not many fast rappers can sound good because it can come off sounding like psychobabble but not Eminem. It’s not my preference or the sound I enjoy but when he’s on the mic, I’m listening and just about everyone else is too. What’s fascinating is that he’s always sounded “white” as a rapper, a definite no-no in hip hop. However, Em is one of the few rappers that made sounding white sound really good.

Bone Thugs & Harmony

Okay, so it’s a whole group but they all deserve recognition equally (although Bizzy Bone is probably the best). Quite possibly the only emcees to be wildly successful because of their delivery, Bone Thugs’ songs will live on forever because they’re close to impossible to duplicate. They were the first rappers to give us the sing-song delivery, something most of us hadn’t heard until they came along. Many have tried to replicate this style but almost all have failed. You’re almost getting a soul performance along with your hip hop whenever Bone Thugs comes on and that would seem crazy if they didn’t sound so damn harmonious doing it.

Dose One

I had to put Dose One right after Bone Thugs for a specific reason: listen to one, then listen to the other and tell me there’s not some similarities in their deliveries. That Dose is from Cincinnati while Bone Thugs come from Cleveland might be an indication of that particular style of delivery being central to the mid west. However, Dose’s delivery is weirder and more ambient, a fresh sounding voice that never fails to impress. Me and some friends saw him perform a few times and he sounded on stage precisely as he does in his recorded tracks. That’s worth  mentioning since so many emcees have their voices altered and mixed to the point where their real delivery sounds terrible. With Dose, that’s not the case and there’s no way to argue how unique and distinctive this Cincy emcee’s delivery is.

Ice Cube

He comes hard with authority. That’s the best way I can explain the impact of Cube’s delivery in his songs. While not as versatile as Tupac, they shared the ability to command every one’s attention when they were rapping. Cube was one of the first platinum solo gangsta rappers in hip hop, and was also known for great lyrics as well as thought-provoking subjects on current issues. There was an obvious anger in his voice but that translated to a ferocity that gave his rapping strength and substance. And after more than twenty years in hip hop, it’s not just luck that Cube has remained a stable in the culture. His first three solo albums, along with many tracks he did while with NWA, remain classics to this day.

Redman

Say what you want about Redman but you always knew when he was rapping. I remember when he first hit the scene with “Time For Some Aksion” and everybody immediately wondered who was spitting out this madly unique delivery. It was filled with east coast grit and came with a grimy attitude that fit Redman’s personality perfectly. It’s a wild delivery, one with a lot of spunk, fire and quirkiness but it also seems to come out of Redman’s mouth like a semi-automatic weapon, in short, hard spurts. What I always admired about Redman was that he wanted you all to know whenever he was rapping and managed to succeed without neglecting his oddness.

Eazy E

The truth is, Eazy Duz itt. It’s too bad he’s dead because here’s an emcee with a delivery many of today’s rappers could learn from. His high-pitched voice matched his diminutive stature, but that didn’t matter because the presence of his delivery was gigantic. Behind those black Locs, his Raiders hat and a long jheri curl, Eazy came with perhaps the most recognizable voice of any emcee at the time, he was also the easiest NWA member to pick out in a song. That he looked and sounded tiny didn’t matter because the delivery carried the weight of a legacy  that has lived on forever. His first album, Eazy Duz It, is still one of the greatest and most distinctive solo albums in gangsta rap history and it’ll be hard to ever supplant the amount of clout his delivery had.

Aesop Rock

I still remember my friends and I trying to mess around by doing our best Aesop impressions but his delivery is one of the hardest to mimic. My favorite thing about him is that he’s always sounded like he’s making up words on the spot but it’s consistently fresh to listen to. There’s also no denying that New York bred toughness in each of his words, always sounding like he’s delivering his verses from some dark back alley in the grimiest part of the Big Apple. Sure, Aesop is hard to understand but there’s a distinction in his delivery that can’t be overlooked.

Chuck D

If there’s one thing Chuck D did great as an emcee, it was hitting the mic like his life depended on it. With Chuck, there was also this urgent, powerful voice that told you to listen, and listen now. There was a reason Flava Flav was the hype man and “other rapper” because there was no way he could ever command the attention that Chuck D could. I still think his best performance comes on Shut ‘Em Down where his start to the opening verse still gives me goosebumps today. Whether you want to or not, Chuck D makes you listen when he’s on the mic.

Too $hort

It’s hard to immediately let someone know how much of  a pimp you are, but Too Short always had that in him. He doesn’t even need to utter one “bitch” or “ho” before you know, for a fact, this guy is a pimp. He’s always been so mellow and easy with his delivery that you wonder whether he just kind of stopped by and dropped a rhyme for the hell of it. It’s that casual approach to his voice that sets him apart from other emcees who consider themselves pimps or hustlers. One of Oakland’s finest remains one of the better deliveries in hip hop.

Scarface

Possibly the silkiest delivery of them all, Scarface sounds so smooth on the microphone that sometimes he doesn’t even bother to rhyme. Yeah, it sounds that smooth. My favorite verse he ever dropped came on the Geto Boys’ “Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta” and this part in particular, is still my favorite just because of how he says it in the simplest of words:

Real gangsta-ass niggas don’t talk much
All ya hear is the black from the gun blast
And real gangsta-ass niggas don’t run for shit
Cuz real gangsta-ass niggas can’t run fast

Del tha Funkee Homosapien

I always like writing his full rap name because it’s one of the most idiosyncratic of all time. Del, however, has been known for his delivery since the moment he was on the map. It’s what always separated him apart from every other emcee to this day, a wild array of tones in his voice that sound like the microphone has been taken over by an alien. You hear him and instantly say: he sounds interesting. But in a really good way. He’s a great emcee to listen to and remains one of the biggest influences for west coast underground rappers to this day. One of his greatest strengths was how he changed the intonations of his voice according the beat. It’s also another big part of what makes Del a phenomenal emcee.

KRS-One

The philosopher still always makes me think of Boogie Down Productions’ “My Philosophy”, one of his most well known songs. Where guys like ‘Pac and Cube made you aware of their presence with aggression, KRS made you want to pull up and chair and hear what he had to say. It’s thought provoking, discussing a wide variety of subjects with the insight of a street professor. There’s a wisdom you have to credit him with, and it’s in his voice, in every verse, from BDP on to his solo career. His verses are delivered to you like a lesson plan and you listen, knowing damn well you’re going to learn something from KRS.

Snoop Dogg

You can sweat Snoop on anything you want rap wise but you can’t ever knock the delivery. Where Scarface may be the silkiest, Snoop might be the funnest. When Snoop starts rapping, everyone wants to hang out and party. Even with his stories of the gangsta life, Snoop isn’t as intimidating and he is cool. His voice matches his pothead personality, something that’s obvious in his super laid back delivery. The best thing about Snoop’s voice is it sounds as if he’s rapping to you as a friend that’s hanging out and smoking a joint with him. Then again, maybe that’s exactly what he wanted all along.

Method Man

Method Man, without a doubt, is the king of grime when it comes to emcee delivery. But with Meth, you get smooth grime, an easy-going delivery that still sounds like it comes from the sewers. “Bring the Pain” is a great example of quintessential Method Man, especially the beginning of the opening verse, but his best sounding song to me is “The Riddler” off the Batman 3 soundtrack. The way his voice sounds to that beat is awesome and his fluid delivery is worth listening to on this track as well as many others. His voice was also a huge asset for the Wu-Tang Clan, probably a big reason they had Method Man be the first solo album to drop from the legendary group.

Nasty Nas

Don’t take this the wrong way but Nas always sounded like a teenager to me and still does, even after all of these years. Maybe it’s his smallish frame that gives him a less-than-intimidating voice but it’s how good the man made it sound that can’t be denied. A lot of emcees have tried copying his quick, urgent delivery but all of them just sound redundant. Nobody can truly mimic Nas’s voice because it’s too distinct, too good, too Queensbridge. That hard NYC accent can be heard distinctly in his vocals, a classic hardcore New York MC telling tales from the hardcore Queensbridge projects. I think part of what makes him so great is that his voice isn’t intimidating even when his verses depict scenes of urban misery. it doesn’t instill fear so it makes it easy to listen to and hear what he has to say.

Busta Rhymes

One of the most original deliveries ever belongs to none other than Busta Rhymes. He sounds as if Dr. Seuss and the Cookie Monster joined forces to create a new form of emcee. His voice is a constantly fluctuating sound of words uttered in grunts, grumbles and roars. Busta’s delivery is not soft on the ears and he’s never apologized for it nor should he have to but even with though is vocalizations is gruff, it always sounds fun. And while Busta Rhymes is not the greatest ever, he’s probably the zaniest.

Gift of Gab

When he hits the mic, you listen. You listen because of his presence but also because of what it sounds like coming from his mouth. Gift of Gab is a big man and his delivery is even bigger. The deep tenor of hip hop has an almost operatic voice, one that sounds as beautiful as it does powerful. It’s an insult when I hear people who don’t understand hip hop and say all rappers sound the same. It’s hard to knock some of the great lyricists over the history of hip hop but a good voice will lock a listener in before great lyrics. While Gift of Gab has both, he’s excellent at changing his delivery according the sound of the beat. That’s an amazing gift to have as an emcee and people don’t give it enough credit. Gift of Gab, like many others on the list, is a great example of that.

Black Thought

Perhaps it’s his association with one of the greatest hip hop ensembles in history, but The Roots’ Black Thought is a great emcee. Philly’s finest has a voice that’s a sweet blend of the rugged Philadelphian streets and a classic old school rapper. More a soulful emcee, Black Thought’s delivery comes from a genuine passion for the history of hip hop and live instruments. It’s always a pleasure to hear the streets of Philadelphia in his voice, especially since it’s not the hardcore vibe you may expect from a Philly kid but the smoothness of his rap sound is what made songs like “What They Do” so great. His voice is that of his style, a coffee house rapper that lights poets and writers on fire because he’s always rapped in their voice. Still one of the few emcees that has a somewhat soft delivery with a lot of power.

Big Daddy Kane

Before all these wannabe playas came trying to show their prowess with the ladies, Big Daddy Kane had already been doing it for over a decade. Unlike many of our current emcees, Daddy Kane sounded damn good rhyming. His delivery was smooth but deep. He always came with this laid-back demeanor in his voice like he was rapping in a robe and that’s probably because he was. On top of that, as fluid as he was, Kane was one of the originators of fast rap, something that’s a lot harder to achieve when you’re a silver-tongued emcee. Listen to the Brooklyn bred rapper today, and it’s amazing how far ahead of the game his delivery really was. There’s also no doubt when you listen to him why he had such a hold on the ladies, his voice almost sounding as if it was born from a bass.

Buckshot

The voice of Black Moon was always a cool one, an icy voice that chilled you. Buckshot’s delivery made you want to close your eyes and just nod your head to music so you could listen to his words. The most significant thing about Buckshot’s voice, however, is that it sounds like it was made from honey. The richness of his sound is what perked up the ears of hip hop enthusiasts all across the nation when Black Moon released their first album, Enta Da Stage, in 1993. The honey-voiced Buckshot remains synonymous with Black Moon and Boot Camp Clik to this day.

Rakim

You didn’t think I’d leave the legendary Rakim off the greatest delivery emcees list, did you? Don’t put to much stock into the fact that he’s close to the bottom of the post as it doesn’t mean anything numbers-wise. Besides, you don’t need me explaining how good Rakim’s voice was. It was one of the first, unique deliveries in hip hop, that huge presence on the microphone that so many of us can still recognize and remember as the force behind Eric B. and Rakim. It’s hard to imagine anyone discussing Rakim’s delivery without the mention of his most famous song ever “Paid in Full” but that’s such a great blueprint for emcees, especially in how Rakim forces you to freeze and listen to him. It also goes without saying how many rappers over the course of history tried to mimic Rakim’s jazzy voice because of how much it resonated but nobody has, nor will they ever have, Rakim’s great delivery.

Queen Latifah

Of course, I had to put some lady rappers on here as well. In hip hop, female emcees will always struggle with being in a the shadows of their male counterparts and, unfortunately, it’s no difference in regards to delivery. Latifah, however, delivered with power. She rapped, you listened. It’s as if she always delivering from a podium to a crowd of millions, adamant on getting her point across with the sound of her voice. She also sounded like the last broad you ever wanted to mess with, her delivery coming off like a female freight train in its force. I hear some of the female emcees today and there’s nothing there to separate them from one another. The fact that she has a more demanding delivery than most male emcees definitely earns Queen Latifah major props

MC Lyte

Perhaps the greatest female emcee of all time, there’s a reason for the lofty title. That delivery meant business. It was rough, gruff and in your face, and straight from the streets of Brooklyn. Her voice hit hard, grasping the beat and giving you a sound you could easily distinguish from anyone else. And, even if it’s not exactly delivery-related, Lyte is one of the first female emcees to write up a dis song to rival Antoinette back in late 80′s. Demanding our utmost attention, MC Lyte also grabbed us with her uncensored, unapologetic delivery, showing tons of prowess with her outstanding voice.

dailymail.co.uk

WTF are YOU looking at???

s388.photobucket.com

YUCK! Balloons or boobies?

allpics4u.com

Can’t we just put people like this in the zoo and let the animals go free?

funpeak.com

I really worry about today’s youth.

10dailythings.com

I admire whoever attempted to grill this way.

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Need a hand?

bigoo.ws

Who’s ready for some french kissing?

shizukany.com

Sexiest lips in the world.

By the way, this will be my next album cover.

sodahead.com

Suck my tentacle, baby!!!

commons.wikimedia.org

If I had a nickel for every time porn was chasing me, I’d be a millionaire.

Skinny Jeans

Sagging in skinny jeans is like trying to wear baggy spandex.

Random Face Piercings

This fashion statement looks more like an STD on your lip

Text Language

WTF is wrng w/u ppl?

Bug Sunglasses

Did this look start off when someone went to a Halloween party dressed as The Fly?

Glasses Without Lenses

Glasses without lenses is not trendy, it’s just downright retarded.

Mohawks (especially fat mohawks)

Is this Jared Leto or a contestant for the the bird lookalike contest?

These soundtracks are underrated because they’re not discussed enough when debating great soundtracks. But it has to be genuinely under the radar so movie classics like Pulp Fiction or Forrest Gump aren’t here nor will you see soundtracks from Singles, Reality Bites or The Bodyguard because they’re too well known. Please feel free to add more if the list forgot to include one of your faves.

11. Rhyme & Reason

RZA’s “Tragedy” alone is worth picking this soundtrack but there’s a lot of other good hip hop songs to get into. Great posse cut with Ras Kass, both Rock and Ruck from Heltah Skeltah and Cannabis with “Uni-4-orm” along with Busta Rhymes and Tribe Called Quest flipping it on “Wild Hot”. You also get some KRS-One, Mack 10, Tha Dogg Pound and the recently deceased Guru of Gangstarr. That makes me remember something. R.I.P. Guru. Hip Hop misses you.

10. William Shakespeare’s Rome + Juliet (1996)

Look, I’m a hip hop guy but good music is good music and in the world of soundtracks, here’s one that’s often overlooked. This was also during Leonardo DiCaprio’s rise as a leading man so a lot of the hype for this movie went to him and Moulin Rougue director Baz Luhrmann. While I wasn’t a fan of this movie whatsoever, the music from the film rocks. You just can’t leave out a soundtrack that throws in Radiohead’s “Exit Music”, Prince’s “When Doves Cry” and that lovely romantic tune by the Cardigans called “Lovefool” which still hasn’t gotten old.

9. Can’t Hardly Wait

Teen movie crap, I know. But the soundtrack rocks and doesn’t get enough love. At the time, Jennifer Love Hewitt was every teenage boy’s dream and that’s mostly what the movie got recognized for, further taking the spotlight off of the soundtrack. With songs like “It’s Tricky” by Run DMC, “6 Underground” by the Sneakerpimps and Paradise City by Guns N Roses, there’s really no reason to overlook the album. Also, when you’re treated to “Groove is in the Heart” or “Bust a Move”, the soundtrack really can’t be that shabby.

8. Grosse Pointe Blank

This movie was a fun little romp with John Cusack as a hit man but the soundtrack definitely can’t be overlooked. Not with a great mix of songs from Grandmaster Flash’s “White Lines” to David Bowie’s “Under Pressure”. It also throws a few great 80′s sounds at you with “Take on Me” and the German protest song “99 Luftballons“. I’m a sucker for soundtracks that utilize a few different decades of music well and Grosse Pointe Blank nails it.

7. Juice

A lot of people remember this movie as Tupac’s debut in film however, along with being a great piece of 90′s cinema it packs a very strong hip hop soundtrack with a few R&B tracks sprinkled in. Teddy Riley’s “Is It Good To You” still holds today and you can’t go wrong with Eric B & Rakim’s title track, “Juice (Know the Ledge)”. Other hip hop superstars of the time get down here as well like Too $hort with “So You Wanna be a Gangster” and the best song on the soundtrack comes from Naughty by Nature with their highly underrated “Uptown Anthem”. If you love hip hop, you should already own this. If you just love good music, take the time to get Juice.

6. Above the Rim

I went back and forth with this pick. Underrated or not underrated, that is the question. Being that people in general don’t discuss it often enough in relevance to great soundtracks, I thought Above the Rim earned a spot here although I understand if you think it’s an iffy pick. There are a good deal of folks who remember this album’s huge affect on the hip hop community but the problem here is that it’s only people who recognize hip hop that realize this. Otherwise, we’re talking a soundtrack featuring three tracks from Tupac along with songs from Snoop, Tha Dogg Pound, Beastie Boys, Naughty by Nature, and the Pharcyde. Plus, you can’t ever forget Warren G and Nate Dogg’s ever so smooth “Regulate” nor the Shaft theme which almost seems to be thrown in for good measure.

5. Judgment Night

Still the most innovative soundtrack of the last thirty years for the simple way it combined artists from two genres of music to perform each song. This is one of those albums you just have to hand out credit to whoever had the balls to sell the idea of infusing hip hop with metal and rock. What made it even better was the producers decided to use artists with substance, pairing Run DMC with Living Colour to make “Me Myself & My Microphone” or Del tha Funkee Homosapien ripping the mic with Dinosaur Jr. alongside him. And I can’t leave out the trio of Tom Petty, Teenage Fanclub and De La Soul to perform “Fallin’”. For sheer creativity, this soundtrack is above and beyond the norm.

4. Boiler Room

Good, solid hip hop soundtrack that many hip hop fans forget about. Filled with very respected artists such as Tribe Called Quest, Pharoahe Monch, Notorious B.I.G. and De La Soul, people forget how well the songs meshed together. Whether you like him or not, Boiler Room featured an early song by 50 Cent called “That Ain’t Gangsta” and any soundtrack willing to hire the talents of Slick Rick or Brand Nubian has to get its props. Best songs here would be Tribe’s “Award Tour” or “Ma Dukes” by the highly underrated O.C. but don’t sleep on DJ Premiere’s “Supa Star” with Group Home or Notorious’ “Things Done Changed”, an overlooked song from his first album.

3. Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion

A very good conglomeration of chart toppers make up this soundtrack, mostly with hits from the 80′s with a few mega hits from the Bee Gees here as well. It’s always good when a soundtrack gives you “Whip It” from Devo and “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”, the timeless Tears for Fears single. But the list isn’t even close to stopping there. There’s Wang Chung’s “Dancehall Days”, Bananarama’s two big hits, “Venus” and “Cruel Summer”, La Bouche’s “Be My Lover” and even No Doubt makes an appearance with “I’m Just A Girl”. I’m always shocked not to hear this soundtrack rarely mentioned as one of the best ever.

2. Street Fighter 2 (1994 Movie)

This movie was so bad, it was mind-blowing. That the soundtrack is so amazing makes it a hell of a coincidence since the film is easily forgotten. But this is hip hop at its finest, especially in that time, with a great mix of skilled emcees and groups like Ice Cube, Public Enemy, The Pharcyde, LL Cool J and Nas. However, it’s songs like “Come Widdit” with Ras Kass, Ahmad and Saafir, Pharcyde’s “Pandemonium” and “It’s a Street Fight” by The B.U.M.S., my personal favorite, that give you a great taste of well made hip hop.

1. Dead Presidents

Best soundtrack of all time in my opinion. Hard to find any album you can listen to all the way through, much less a movie soundtrack, but this one achieves that with one of the greatest mixes of soul music ever. Also, I forgot to mention that there are 34 songs on this soundtrack. Yep, that’s not a typo. 34 awesome songs. Serenaded with music legends like James Brown, Barry White, Curtis Mayfield and Marvin Gaye, it seems like its one megastar after another when you’re also realize Aretha Franklin, Sly and the Family Stone, Al Green, Isaac Hayes and Stevie Wonder have music on Dead Presidents as well. And many of these songs still stand strong today like “If You Want Me To Stay”, “Walk on By”, “The Payback”, “Love Train” and “I’ll Be Around” make listening to this album more and more worth it. In fact, I can’t think of any reason you shouldn’t listen to one of the best soundtracks ever put together.

Don’t be a cock face.

The Grifters (1989)

John Cusack, Annette Benning, Anjelica Houston, J.T. Walsh

Reasons you SHOULD watch this: Great acting, great plot, great direction and a wonderfully surprising ending, although it’s not the happiest, I warn you. You’re not bored during this film. First of all, you might not recognize Benning as she plays a racy grifter (con artist) that will do anything to swindle someone, including opening her legs to the most unlikely of characters as well as others. In fact, Benning might be naked (and yes, we’re talking NAKED) more than not in The Grifters. The movie is so good, however, that it wouldn’t have mattered if she didn’t show anything. With Cusack and Houston playing off one another so well in their scenes, it’s hard not to admire how movies come to life with great acting. Maybe the best movie on this list.

Reasons you SHOULDN’T watch this: Unless you just love crappy movies, there’s no reasons not to check out The Grifters.

Clash of the Titans (2010)

Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes

Reasons you SHOULD watch this: Fun movie, good special effects at moments, and it didn’t screw with the original 1981 version too much. The addition of a black Pegasus versus a white one actually looked better as did the witches who were more monstrous and scary this time around. I had expectations of Liam Neeson’s playing Zeus in a campy, contrived way but he actually makes the king of Mount Olympus believable. Joseph Fiennes does a decent job with Hades as well.

Reasons you SHOULDN’T watch this: Calibos blows in this version compared to the 1981 original. He looks more like one of William Wallace’s soldiers from Braveheart. There were also a few times where the special effects lagged big time. The scorpions were pathetic and the decision to go with more of them and bring in a new clan of people was simply stupid. Medusa’s new look wasn’t bad but it wasn’t anything special. The biggest reason however, not to watch this movie is that it worked much better in a darker tone as the original did. Greek mythology is anything but campy so going that route failed overall as I believe it was the difference between a decent movie and a great one.

Pi

Directed by Darren Aronofsky and starring a bunch of actors you’ve never heard of

Reasons you SHOULD watch it: If you’re planning on being in the movie business or are a movie buff and generally enjoy a well made film no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel then this is definitely worth a look. Darren Aronofsky is probably the last guy I’d want to have at my annual Passover seder. He’d probably figure out a way to turn my a nice evening into something that would make me want to jump into a bathtub with a toaster oven. The guy has a way with misery the same way Kobe has a way with the basketball. He’s mastered the art of distress and it all started with this movie, his first. It tells the story of an obsessed mathematician that’s so brilliant it’s unhealthy. Wall Street wants his knowledge as do a group of Hasidic Jews. I won’t tell you why as you’d have to see for yourself. It’s certainly not the easiest movie to watch but a good one.

Reasons you SHOULDN’T watch it: If you’re easily turned off my dark, depressing movies, STAY AWAY.

Midnight Express (1978)

Brad Allen, Randy Quaid, John Hurt

Reasons you SHOULD watch it: This is just the kind of gripping movie that can blow you away because there’s so many scenes where you’re making that face of disgust because you know what’s happening to the characters. It takes place in a Turkist prison after Brad Allen is caught trying to smuggle hashish across the border and fails. You don’t ever want to go to prison but a Turkish one would be a disaster. The acting in this movie is excellent as is the direction and story. It’s actually from a true story written by the real life character, William Hayes, that Brad Allen plays. However, when the head Turkish prison guard is on screen, you’re at the edge of your seat wondering what sadistic idea the guy has on his mind at the moment. When he takes a prisoner away, you know something horrible is going to happen. He’s not killing them either. Just beating the ever-loving crap out of them and raping them. I know this doesn’t sound so appealing but I’m letting you know whether the movie is watchable and Midnight Express is definitely worth your time. There’s also Brad Allen’s classic monologue in front of the Turkish high court which is absolutely awesome even if it doesn’t pull any punches on its prejudice.

Reasons you SHOULDN’T watch it: Unless you’re easily turned off by prison movies or Turkish people, or both, there’s absolutely no reason not to watch this. Only thing I would mention is that if you happen to be Turkish, Brad Allen’s monologue could definitely offend you. Then again, you’d have to wonder what you would say if you had spent 3 and a half years in a sadistic Turkist prison.

Kick Ass (2010)

Nicolas Cage, Aaron Johnson

Reasons you SHOULD watch it: If you like little girls that curse too much then I guess that’s a reason to rent this. Other than that, there’s no use unless you’d like to use the disc as a coaster for your drink.

Reasons you SHOULDN’T watch it: Unless you have a hard on for Nicolas Cage or something, there’s really no relevant reason I can recommend this piece of crap. The fact that IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes users have given this flick a high score blows my mind as both sites are usually pretty legit at rating movies. With this film, there’s failure all over the place. The story is horrendous, makes no sense and has absolutely no direction whatsoever. In fact, the movie got dumber as it went along and even less believable even within the context of an already unbelievable situation. The major reason this movie sucks however, is its inability to decide whether it wanted to be action or comedy. Instead, it just winds up being a campy, horribly directed pile of dog shit that was still stinking up my PS3 even after I ejected the disc. This is merely a movie for people who want some kind of shock value no matter the expense.

2. Tie: Comedy Central Roasts of Pamela Anderson & Flava Flav

3. Chris Rock “Bring The Pain”

4. George Carlin “George Carlin: 40 Years of Comedy”

5. Richard Pryor “Richard Pryor: Live in Concert”

6. Lisa Lampanelli “Dirty Girl”

7. Dave Chappelle “Killing Them Softly”

8. Andrew Dice Clay “The Dice Man Cometh”

9. Damon Wayans “The Last Stand”

10.  Eddie Griffin “Voodoo Child”

1. Eddie Murphy: Delirious

The best stand-up I’ve ever seen and it still hasn’t been beaten after 27 years. For anyone who never saw Murphy in his prime, this stand-up will shock you as it’s so vulgar and brash, it’s hard to recognize this other Murphy we see on the movie screen these days. It’s about ninety minutes without once pause for you to take a break from laughter. Still the ultimate stand-up force to be reckoned with.

2. Comedy Central Roasts of Pamela Anderson & Flava Flav

Okay, it’s a weird pick and technically a “roast” but there’s plenty of stand-up in these roasts to warrant a place on this list. Both roasts gave me some of the biggest laughs of my life, nailing Anderson with jokes you wouldn’t dare say behind her back much less while she’s sitting there on stage. The punchlines on Pamela were a lot colder than Flav’s but there were lines from Flava’s roast that are some of the best I’ve ever heard.

3. Chris Rock: Bring The Pain

It was a long time before anything had come close to Delirious but Bring The Pain is almost as good. Almost. But where Eddie Murphy nails you with a few hilarious stories, Chris Rock delivers tons of great one-liners and stomach busting theories that you’ll be hurting after watching it.

4. George Carlin: 40 Years of Comedy

I cheated on this one and gave the third spot to a tribute given to George Carlin by Comedy Central. The reason is because it was able to use a good amount of his routine material, the ones many of us are aware of and in awe of.

5. Richard Pryor: Live in Concert

This was just after his infamous experience with freebasing where he burned himself terribly. But Pryor attacks the issue head on, making fun of it and showing why he was one of the greatest of all time. It’s probably his best big concert ever and really brings out some of his best comedy.

6. Lisa Lampanelli: Dirty Girl

Not that the comedians in front of her on this list aren’t ballsy enough but of all the comedians I’ve ever watched, which is a lot, Lampanelli probably has the biggest pair of balls in the business. Go figure. She’s the most foul-mouthed comic out there today but her risky sashay around usually touchy political correctness issues is what makes Lampenelli and this particular stand-up so good.

7. Dave Chappelle: Killing Them Softly

There’s so many good parts in this one but I always seem to remember his limousine ride through the D.C. ghetto where a baby is standing on the corner at three o’clock in the morning. Chapelle: “Hey baby! Baby, go home, man! It’s 3 o’clock in the morning man, what the fuck are you doing up?” The baby says, “I’m selling weed, nigga!” Obviously, it’s a lot better to hear him deliver it.

8. Andrew Dice Clay: The Ice Man Cometh

For a few years in the late eighties, there wasn’t a comedian in the world as popular as Andrew Dice Clay. He faded and isn’t nearly the comic of anyone else on this list but this special is the best of his best, The Dice Man summed up in one special that is definitely worth a look.

9. Damon Wayans: The Last Stand

As Damon Wayans was mired in fame from In Living Color, he came out with this stand-up that knocked me on my ass laughing. There’s a lot of funny material here with a great Mike Tyson impersonation (which he also did on In Living Color) as well as a hilarious tale of when his punk nephew visits.

10.. Eddie Griffin: Voodoo Child

If it weren’t for the horribly unfunny movies he did, Eddie Griffin would be considered a better comedian than he is a character in crappy movies. If you want to see his comedy at best, and where he recycled a lot of his material the last ten years from, check out Voodoo Child. Nobody does a better Michael Jackson impression and it’s not close.

Here we go, from 15 to 1

15) Tie

Self-Destruction (KRS One, MC Lyte, Kool Moe Dee, Stetsasonic, D-Nice, Ms. Melodie, Doug E. Fresh, Just Ice, Heavy D, Public Enemy)

Doug E. Fresh: “Things been stated, re-educated, evaluated/thoughts of the past have faded.”

We’re All In The Same Gang (King Tee, Body & Soul, Def Jef, Michel’le, Tone Loc, Above the Law, Ice-T, Dr. Dre, MC Ren, JJ Fad, Young MC, Digital Underground, Oaktown’s 3.4.7., MC Hammer, Eazy E)

Young MC: “I try my best to set an example, sayin hype lyrics over hip-hop samples.”

14) What’s Up Doc? (Can We Rock?) (Shaq & Fuschnicken)

Chip: “So howdy, my partner, I starts to get meaner/so ask Bob for hope, nope, not Mr. Bob Dobailina/oh, where has my mic gone? Tell me, have you seen her?/I stretch like a condom and gets plump like a weiner.”

13) Headbanger (EPMD, K-Solo, Redman)

Redman: “Surpise niggaz, the original p-funks you up/I take a hit from a spliff and then get biz with the new cut/because I can jam like teddy if you let me/a Goodfella but still rugged like Joe Pesci.”

12) Uni4orm (Cannabis, Ras Kass, Heltah Skeltah)

Cannabis: “I pulverize MC’s and blow up mics/from street corner cyphers to international web sites/I’ll run up on you and set it for no reason/my flows are like body-blows that cause internal bleeding.”

11) Live At The BBQ (Nas, Akinele, Large Professor, Fatal)

Nas: “Poetry attacks, paragraphs punch hard /my brain is insane, I’m out to lunch God /science is dropped, my raps are toxic /my voicebox locks and excels like a rocket.“

10) The Symphony (Masta Ace, Craig G, Kool G Rap, Big Daddy Kane)

Kool G Rap: “When G Rap strikes the mic, I recite the type of hype that you like/and make the people unite, grip up hips and zip up lips/step on reps, you flip and wanna sip on my tip.”

9) Triumph (Wu-Tang Clan)

Inspektah Deck: “I bomb atomically, Socrates’ philosophies/and hypothesis can’t define how I be droppin these/mockeries, lyrically perform armed robbery/flee with the lottery, possibly they spotted me.”

What’s the Difference? (Dr. Dre, Phish, Xzibit, Eminem)

Xzibit: “Yo I stay wit it while you try to perpetrate, play wit it/never knew about the next level until Dre did it (yeah!)/I stay committed while you motherfuckers baby-sitted/I smash you critics like a overhand right from Riddick”

7) Flava In Ya Ear (Remix) (Craig Mack, Rampage, Notorious BIG, LL Cool J)

Busta Rhymes.: “Five new flavas on beat…feel the fuckin’ heat/I really think you should retreat while we blow up the street/instead of copping pleas just freeze, maintain the focus while we smoke these marijuana trees.”

6) Lafleur Laflah Eshkoshka (Fab 5 – Heltah Skeltah, Original Gun Clappaz, Buckshot)

Rockness Monsta: “Ay carumba, strang gun clappa number/one on the set and I’ll cut ya like lumber/still play the back in my thundergear, down to my underwear/make all you muthafuckas wonder where”

5) The Points (Notorious BIG, Coolio, Doodle Bug, Big Mike, Buckshot, Redman, Menace Clan, Heltah Skeltah, Bone Thugs, Jamal)

The four short verses by Bone is part of the reason this is one of the top 5 posse cuts of all time. Biggie, Buckshot, Redman and Jamal are all pretty good as well.

4) Soweto – (Pep Love, Tajai, Casual, Del, A-Plus, Opio of Hieroglyphics)

Del: “So I go astray throw aways blow away/every hope I hold today, we were sold as slaves/the sky is cold and grey, my niggas showed the way/so fan and listen now with this I see my golden age.”

3) Hit ‘Em Up – (Tupac & Outlawz, E.D.I. Mean, Hussein Fatal, Yaki Kadafi)

Tupac (Chorus): “Grab ya glocks, when you see Tupac/call the cops, when you see Tupac (uhh)/who shot me, but ya punks didn’t finish/now ya bout to feel the wrath of a menace nigga, I hit em’ up…”

2) Scenario (Tribe Called Quest & Leaders of the New School)

Phife Dawg: “Aiyyo Bo knows this (what?) and Bo knows that (what?)/but Bo don’t know jack, cause Bo can’t rap/well whaddya know? the Di-Dawg is first up to bat/no batteries included, and no strings attached.”

1) Notorious Thugs (Notorious BIG, Bone Thugs & Harmony)

Notorious: “Spit yo’ game, talk yo’ shit/grab yo’ gat, call yo’ click/squeeze yo’ clip, hit the right one/pass that weed, I got to light one/all them niggaz, I got ta fight one/all them hoes, I got ta like one/our situation is a tight one/whatcha gonna do, fight or run?”

I support gay and lesbian toking.