It’s a baby whale shark which should give you an idea of how big these fish can get, sometimes over 55 feet.
Posts Tagged ‘Animals’
GIANT CATFISH OR BABY WHALE SHARK?
Thursday, July 30th, 2009
THIS CAT HAS HOPS!
Sunday, July 26th, 2009
By far one of the most physically awesome displays by an animal ever seen. The Lakers are offering a 5 year contract worth $75 million.
STOP! IT LOOKS DANGEROUS!
Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
Here’s a few bad ass animals that we share the world with that can send you on a painful visit to the emergency room…if you make it that far. For some reason, invertebrates jumped to mind so that’s what I rode with.
RED BACK SPIDER (Australia)
This pea-sized little critter packs a nasty bite, ready to sink its fangs into anything that may disturb its home somewhere in a dry and sheltered area where it makes its web. If you think it resembles our American black widow, you’re right. They’re cousins. Ugly cousins but cousins nonetheless.
IRUKANDJI JELLYFISH (Australia)
Ever heard of a box jellyfish, one of the world’s deadliest creatures? Well, this Australian jellyfish is basically a 2.5 centimeter version of that but just as poisonous and much harder to see. A bite from this powerful little fellow will send you to the morgue in a few days without treatment. Staying out of the water in Australia is a good piece of advice here.
LONOMIA OBLIQUA CATERPILLAR (South America)
Who the hell ever thought a friggin’ caterpillar would pose any threat to mankind? If you ever happen to find your butt hiking through the jungles of Brazil, it might be wise not to rest your arm or leg on a nearby tree. Should you do so, there’s a chance you’ll rub it up against one of these caterpillars, a squirming creature with spines venomous enough to kill a human. Would have been nice to keep caterpillars innocent and nice but I guess old Mother Earth blew it here.
LOCUST (Africa)
A locust cannot kill you nor can it really hurt you although I wouldn’t want to test those mandibles on its mouth. What the locust can’t do with venom it makes up for in sheer numbers and damage on human resources, mainly crops. Locusts can form swarms up to 150m wide and can cover over 50 countries at a time. That’s called an army. By the way, locust swarms only seem to occur in Africa, so it may be a good idea to scratch the whole entire continent off your vacation list.
CAPE BUFFALO VS HIPPOPOTAMUS
Wednesday, March 18th, 2009
BATTLE OF THE BEASTS: CAPE BUFFALO VS HIPPOPOTAMUS
CAPE BUFFALO (Syncerus caffer)
SIZE: 8-10 FT 900-2000 LBS
Cape buffalo aren’t as docile as one may think, being that they’re bovids (hoofed mammal) and therefore these massive grazers are natural herbivores. However, among the large amount of bovid species in the animal kingdom, cape buffalo are definitely one of the most successful. That can happen when you run in to herds of up to 1500 beasts all weighing in over 1000 pounds.
Want to know how tough these African buffalo are? When being attacked by adult lions, the herd will huddle close together to make it more difficult for hunters to pick off one member. Also, it’s one of the few herbivore herds that will retaliate when a member is attacked, known to aggressively go after lions after one of their own is killed. In fact, it’s been recorded that buffalo herds have kept lions in trees for up to two hours following an attack on their herd, proving they back down from no animal and definitely no man.
Speaking of man, it brings up the next little curiosity: How dangerous are cape buffalo to us? The answer in two words: VERY DANGEROUS. Considered one of Africa’s “Black Five” (aka “big 5″) for killing the most people per year, buffalo are known to be super aggressive and unhappy with humans. In fact, they’re known as the most dangerous animal to hunt in Africa according to big game hunters. Apparently, when a buffalo is being hunted or even senses it, it will not shy away but rather pursue and ambush hunters, bulling them over and goring them to death.
DON’T HUNT THE CAPE BUFFALO AND YOU WON’T DIE
HIPPOPOTAMUS (Hippopotamus amphibius)
SIZE: 11 FT 3000-4000 LBS
Quick: What’s eleven feet long, four thousand pounds and can run faster than an Olympic sprinter in short distance? Thinking hard? Given up yet? Believe it or not, it’s a hippo. Yep, that fat, stubby, brown mass of blubber that does nothing but wallow in rivers of mud all day long. That’s the one. While this may be true, the hippo is not to be screwed with.
Some interesting things about the hippopotamus you may not have known are quite fascinating. That color they get? Not just a phenomenon, my friends. Nope. They’ve got a natural skin ointment that they secrete to protect them from the baking African sun. In the meantime we still haven’t figured out the all day sun block that actually works without risk of skin cancer. Socially, hippos are part of a group of up to thirty hippos called a pod or herd that is lead by a dominant bull male. It’s funny that there are sometimes other males in the pods called bachelors that aren’t bulls because they let the dominant male run them. This also happens with people. Funny shit.
Notoriously recognized as one of the most ferocious animals in Africa, I’ve personally heard the “most deadly” moniker put with the hippo the most. While I’m no expert, my biggest stamp of approval came from Steve Irwin, the deceased Crocodile Hunter who claimed that moving along an African river in a canoe at night was by far the most frightening experience of his life. That should give you a good example of the danger a hippopotamus can present. Need more evidence? Hippos are very hostile toward two things in particular: crocodiles and boats. Any animal that will lash out against a crocodile and a damn boat is what I term unfuckwittable. Feel free to use that word should you the occasion arise.
WHO WINS?
THE SAGE SAYS…We’ll imagine a Shaq version of the cape buffalo arrived on the scene to square off against the hippo down at the water hole. While the buffalo has immense power and speed and set of horns that can gore and stab, the hippo is able to run just as fast, can utilize the water and can open it’s mouth almost wide enough to bite the buffalo in half. The buffalo bulls toward the hippo who stands its ground and chomps a huge hole into the buffalo’s side, sending its bloody carcass down the river as a gift for his crocodile enemies.
HIPPOPOTAMUS WINS!
*my name is HIPPOPOTAMUS and I think it’s time you recognized
STOP…WATCHING THIS CRAP
Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009
Scanning my memory along the thousands of terrible movies the world of cinema has delivered to us in my lifetime, I decided to stick with the times and lash out on a recent flick that seemed to garner WAY TOO MUCH attention for a film that didn’t really deserve it. Films don’t deserve unnecessary praise when they’re just a watered down version of a movie before them that was way more original and just better all around. So, this time around, I decided to take teenage vampires to task because the love they’ve gotten recently is a little too “MTV” for me. And I don’t do MTV because MTV sucks.
TWILIGHT (Summitt Entertainment 2008)
Twilight started as a novel by Stephenie Meyer and became the teen vampire book became an enormous success with a bunch of different spin offs of the original. The wildly successful movie is its most prosperous project to date, taking in over $190 million in box office revenue.
It tells the story of Isabella Swan (Bella) whose migration from Phoenix, Arizona to Forks, Washington entails the usual teen angst until she gets her life saved by a teen vampire who stops a moving van with his bare hands in the parking lot of their high school. Turns out Edward Cullen is a vampire, along with his family however, unlike most vampires, Edward and his blood-thirsty family drink the blood of animals rather than humans as their vampirish race should be doing.
More stuff happens and twists get thrown into the whole ordeal to provide fans with a vague and unoriginal story usually reserved for movies like this. I’m not a fan of the book so I could care less how accurate the movie is in relation to the book but apparently, it’s a far cry from the novel in a bad way. But that’s usually the case with books taking a chance at the silver screen.
WATCH THIS INSTEAD
THE LOST BOYS (Warner Bros. 1987)
Funny how this 1987 horror/comedy movie about cool teenaged vampires was also about a teenager originally from Arizona who moves over to the west coast, this time to sunny California. Jason Patric plays Michael but this movie has tons and tons of good actors such as Diane Wiest, Kiefer Sutherland, Corey Haim and Corey Feldman, teen superstars of the 1980′s. The cast alone sends it way passed Twilight in the “which is better” discussion so let’s put that to rest right off the bat.
As for originality, Twilight doesn’t stand a chance against The Lost Boys because not only is the actual story more creative and unique, the characters themselves are all so different, they each have their own little way of doing things, making each of them distinct. Basically, the coastal down of Santa Carla, California is infested by a local gang that, in all actuality, is really a gang of vampires with a twist. It’s so much like the normal gang activity that they even have an initiation rite for Michael (Patric).
To make this easy on you, get on your Netflix and get this bad boy sent to your house. Either that, or hit up the local video store and grab this on DVD. If you like any or all teenaged vampire movies, it’s damn near impossible for this one to disappoint. If it does, it’s probably a problem with your head, not the movie.
EASTERN DIAMONDBACK VS WESTERN DIAMONDBACK
Monday, March 2nd, 2009
BATTLE OF THE BEASTS: EASTERN DIAMONDBACK VS WESTERN DIMAONDBACK RATTLESNAKE
We all pretty much know that, when out in the wild, the sound of a rattle indicates DANGER DANGER DANGER. For the sound of a rattle means there’s a rattlesnake nearby and it’s not happy that you’re near them. Fortunately, the rattle is your warning just in case you were planning on moving any closer. Should you choose to continue, the rattlesnake will bite your ass. Bad. And add a lot of nasty poison to the bite.
However, which rattlesnake is which? And what would happen if an east coast rattler met up with a west coast rattler? I figured it would be fun to make this an east coast/west coast battle in a throwback to 90′s hip-hop where everyone seemed to have a beef with another rapper from the “other coast”.
EASTERN DIAMONDBACK (Crotalus adamanteus)
SIZE: 3.5-7 1/2 FT
The heaviest of the rattlesnake family, the eastern diamondback has been reported to reach 8 feet in length but most of the bigger specimens found are normally between six and seven feet. Also, to keep with its theme of being large, the eastern diamondback can also claim the longest fangs of any other rattlesnake as well.
If you live west of the Mississippi, have no fear of the eastern diamondback because the furthest west it seems to venture is Louisiana. Maybe one of them will bite Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal soon. In fact, if you’re in the northeast, midwest or the entire west coast, you won’t be meeting an eastern diamondback anytime soon. If you don’t live in those places mentioned above, LOOK OUT!
Snakes in general, unless constrictors, aren’t the type for larger than life prey. They tend to eat small rodents, lizards, frogs, insects and sometimes birds. However, because eastern diamondbacks are rather large, rabbits tend to be the main course. That’s impressive for a snake below ten feet.
Well, to put it shortly, DON’T GET BITTEN BY ONE OF THESE. Their venom is highly toxic and is known for hemorrhaging and is so powerful, it can lead to cardiac failure. Known to have a 30% mortality rate. That’s pretty damn high for human mortality rates among animals. It’s also why it’s known for more snake bites in the U.S. than any other snake.
WESTERN DIAMONDBACK (Crotalus atrox)
SIZE: 3-6 FT
As far as size goes, the east coast has the edge. The western diamondback is the second largest rattler in the U.S. behind its eastern cousin as well as the second most in snake bites.
The western diamond roams a larger geographic area than the eastern diamondback, giving it a little more flexibility. It’s been caught as far east as Arkansas and as far south as Mexico, extending all the way over to all parts of the west coast. To put this simply: this snake’s got range.
Just like its rattler cousin over in the east coast, the western diamondback feeds on small rodents like rats and mice and moles and rabbits. It also primarily does its hunting at night or in the early mornings when the temperature is cooler. Even more shocking with the western diamondback is that they’ve been known to go up to two years without eating. Yikes!
As far as we go, western diamondbacks encounter humans a lot more than eastern diamondbacks do. They’re the number one snake killing the folks of northern Mexico, where many people populate the area. Western diamondbacks are known to be horribly toxic but their venom can sometimes be applied heavily, making the bite very dangerous. Their venom attacks cells, red blood cells and causes paralysis and muscle destruction. Anybody want to volunteer for a bite? Didn’t think so.
WHO WINS?
THE SAGE SAYS…if both snakes are the same size, it’s hard not to choose the one with larger fangs and a tougher reputation. Though I’m a west coast guy, it tough not to pick the eastern diamond back to win this fight. I say it’s a long battle but a bad bite to the western diamondback’s head would end this fight shortly. Victory: Eastern diamondback rattlesnake.
EASTERN DIAMONDBACK WINS!
