DANGEROUS ANIMALS OF THE UNITED STATES

BARK SCORPION
Yes, indeed this gnarly little critter dwells in our states but only you Southwestern residents need to worry about this poisonous bugger stinging you. While one of the most venomous scorpions in the world, there have only been two fatalities from bark scorpion stings since 1968. However, that doesn’t mean you should be a damn moron and go looking for one. If you happen to pick it up and get stung, tough luck, douchebag.

RECLUSE SPIDER
Disgusting. Filthy. Rotten. Frightening. Poisonous. REALLY POISONOUS. The picture on the right shows the results of an untreated brown recluse spider, also known as a recluse or fiddleback spider. Wouldn’t want a bite like that on my leg. Not on my arm. And especially not down in my trousers.

MOOSE
Look at those antlers, boy! Yep, Bullwinkle ain’t so nice after all. Moose, sometimes standing over 7 feet at the shoulder, are one tough beast. Poisonous? No. Dangerous? HELL YEAH. Bull mooses DO NOT like humans. Not one bit. If a female moose has a calf with her, it will destroy you before you even know what hit you. During the fall mating season, bull mooses will attack ANYTHING male that they feel is a threat to their females. Check this out: some bull mooses have even been known to attack Locomotives. That’s dangerous!

RACOON
Such a cute. lovable animal, those fun, pesky racoons, ain’t they? Well, yeah, if you take out the fact that racoons are one of the most prolific carriers of rabies, a form of rabies that can really pack a punch if bitten. Sure they’re cute. Sure they’re interesting. But they’re dangerous. Very, very dangerous. Not because they want to bite you and not because they will bite you. But, if they do bite you, you could be screwed. And you’ll definitely be visiting the hospital.

CORAL SNAKE
Pretty snake, huh? Yeah, pretty to look at it and that’s about it. Second most venomous snake behind some of our more well known rattlesnake species (Western Diamondback, Eastern Diamondback, Mojave), the coral snake is much less aggressive but still not a snake you’d want to be handling any time soon. What’s worse, if a coral snake should happen to bite you, it may not even be painful, however, once you start experience breathing difficulties and a drooping eyelid (psosis) you’ll know you’ve been bitten by the beautiful, colorful creature called the coral snake.










