Man, has it really reached this point for us? Have we become so bent on our images that plastic surgery can make you look ten times worse than you ever did before you went under the knife?
It is also interesting to note the incredible talent some of these surgeons have in transforming a human into a beast. It’s really quite fascinating, actually.
*I am the wicked witch from the west…with blonde hair now!
DOLLY PARTON - Dolly’s a long way from 9-5 and an even longer way from sanity. Bitch, snap out of it! You look like the new Barbie horror movie, your skin is too stretched and we can’t tell anymore whether you’re a woman, a witch or a blond lizard.
*”She’s a man, ba-by!” -Austin Powers
PETE BURNS - If you lived through the 80′s, you remember a song called “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive. This was their singer. Not only does he look disgustingly distored, his lips have ballooned up so much, I don’t know whether to pop him with a needle or stick his lips on the back of my car window like a suction cup.
*The interchangeable faces of the chameleon.
JOAN RIVERS - Poor Joan. She keeps on trucking as a celebrity in the world of pop culture and yet everyone on earth seems to mention her in the same breath as bad plastic surgery. Joan has even admitted to having such terrible work done and yet there she goes doing it again. Must be hard to be married to a chick who could potentially have a new face every year.
*”Take me to your leader.”
MICHAEL JACKSON - So much talent yet so much of a whack job. Quite possibly the greatest musical performer of all time, Jacko has imploded into a disturbing albino alien with a long perm and a Jack-O-Lantern grin. Fuck the boogeyman, kids. Be scared of Michael Jackson. Not only is he from another planet, he likes to abduct and touch little boys.
*Holy shit! It’s the Missing Link!
JOCELYN WILDENSTEIN - If you don’t know Jocelyn Wildenstein, don’t worry, neither do I. All I know is she’s a super rich socialite with a bad addiction to terrible plastic surgery. Actually, I’ve began going in the direction of her once being a pig that wanted so badly to look human thashe went to the best plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills. He tried everything he could do but after $4 million of surgery, she was better off looking like the pig that she was than the beast that she is now.
