There are enormous sharks in this world. Ones that eat people too. Great whites are the most well known, of course.
There are also enormous crocodiles in the world. Crocs eat people more than sharks do. Saltwater crocodiles are the largest crocodiles out there.
Who would win if these two met out in the ocean?
Let’s see, shall we?
GREAT WHITE SHARK
Great whites are one of the few sharks that travel all around the world, as long as they can find waters that in their temperature range (54 degrees F to 75 F). It also means you should probably stay the hell away from any warmer beaches because, well, great whites don’t like you.
This is a fish that can grow up to 21 feet long and get close to 5000 pounds. That’s a big son of a bitch, right? Add in rows of razor sharp teeth and a nasty disposition to “bite” things out of curiosity and you’ve got yourself one of most dangerous creatures our planet has ever known.
If you want to really know how threatening great whites can be to humans worldwide, pull up any shark attack charts for the last 100 years and you will see the variety of different attacks caused by Mr. White around the world. This fellow covers ground, baby! From California to Australia, Mr. White likes his attacks no matter where he may roam.
Now, what do great whites eat?
YOU!
Actually, not really. Sharks can’t stand the taste of us but by the time they figure it out, we’re usually dead or close to dead anyways so it doesn’t give us must comfort knowing that, either way, a victim of a shark attack is screwed.
In actuality, great whites love (I mean, absolutely, love) seals. They love seals like we love pizza and beer. In fact, don’t be surprised if somewhere beneath the sea, there’s a cafe where all the hard ass great whites join to drink, shoot the shit and eat some seal. It has to be somewhere down there.
SALTWATER CROCODILE
These guys are about the same size as their cousins in Africa, the Nile crocodile except that salties (what Australians call them) are a tad bigger and can swim in the ocean. How’s that for a double whammy?
Just when you think it’s safe to be out of the freshwater in Australia you go for a dip in the ocean only to get eaten by a crocodile? At least have a shark eat me so I’m not so confused.
Salties have been recorded at 22 feet long although females only get to be about 11 feet long, with the biggest on record being 14 feet. That means males can be 10 feet longer than females! Damn. Talk about a rough mating season.
Luckily for us, saltwater crocs DO NOT live on our side of the Atlantic or Pacific or in the United States or Canada or anywhere else in North American territory. Thank God! However, should you feel an urge to travel to India or Indonesia or, of course, Australia, you may find yourself encountering one of these reptilians out in the wild. If so. GOOD LUCK.
The reason crocs are so dangerous to humans, even more so than sharks and Mr. White above, is because they have absolutely no conscience. When a croc wants to eat, dammit, it’s eating! If that means it’s eating you, so be it. It won’t spit you out like a shark would do because meat is meat and that’s what a saltwater crocodile wants whether it’s mammal, bird or human.
WHO WINS
THE DEAF SAGE SAYS:
The two toothy beasts meet out in middle of the Pacific Ocean, just off the Australian coast, both staring one another down. The croc slowly cruises in, doesn’t like what he sees and swipes at the great white with its huge tail. The shark, pissed off as hell that the salty invaded his territory, tries to take a bite of it but misses badly. Salty swings around again, ready to take his own bite out of the shark. It’s a miss and the great white disappears for a quick second. By the time the croc knows where the shark is, it’s too late. The great white ambushed the salty from below and bit a huge hole in its belly, sending the crocodile below to sleep (and get eaten) by the fishes. Mr. White looks down with an evil grin and shrugs his shoulders. He knows who’s the baddest.
GREAT WHITE WINS
Tags: Atlantic Ocean, Australia, beer and pizza, birds, California, croc, crocs, freshwater, Great White Shark, humans, mammals, Mr. White, Nile crocodile, ocean, Pacific Ocean, saltwater crocodile, salty, seals, shark attacks, warmer waters
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