This version of Movies That Jerk You Off is dedicated to the most overrated comedy of all time.
BORAT
“Did this man just make the funniest comedy of all time?”
I remember reading this caption on the front of Entertainment Weekly a few years ago with a picture of Borat behind it. When I read this, I knew it was a movie I had to see, for better or worse. Unfortunately, it was for worse.
Watching the movie, a few things dawned on me that other people seem to have forgotten. First of all, paying money to watch a 2 hour long version of Punk’d that uses Sacha Baron Cohen instead of Ashton Kutcher isn’t very funny to me nor is it very new or interesting. Second, me and my buddies could cruise the U.S.A. with a camera posing like documentarians and we would have had way better footage than this piece of shit and it would have been a lot funnier and less conniving. Also, I give absolutely no credit to the film and Cohen for posing as something they’re not just to trick people into doing things they thought were for a documentary only to be duped. Some people call that funny, I call that horseshit. Last, showing a hairy ass naked guy with his balls up in Borat’s face doesn’t do it for me. It’s not funny, just disgusting. If you laughed hard at this, something is a little wrong with you. That the naked fat guy gallops through that business conference and gets those reactions was, well, pretty lame. Just so you know, anytime a naked guy runs through a business conference unexpectedly, it will get a reaction. So, honestly, I don’t care if you or your friends or my friends think this movie is hilarious because it’s not. It’s the most OVERRATED comedy of all time and unfairly. Oh, and another thing, Bruno will suck too. Ali G sucked balls as well. For those of you who adore Cohen, find his address and send him a blowjob or something. Get over yourselves and stop drooling because he’s not that funny.
SPIDERMAN 3
Are you kidding me? Possibly the worst comic book movie of all time because of the injustice this movie gives to two incredibly fascinating Spiderman villains that seemed to be mere crumbs in this movie. I already have big issues with Tobey Maguire in anything but the first Spiderman wasn’t so bad and I guess he plays a pretty decent Peter Parker. Now, we get the third movie and Spiderman fans are salivating over the fact that this movie will feature Venom, Carnage and Sandman. That’s already a few too many villains and they should have just went with Venom and Carnage. In fact, this entire movie should have focused and explained Venom, one of the most interesting and coolest Marvel villains in history. Venom kicks major ass and yet in this movie we barely ever see him other than as a black mass of virus lurking around Spidey’s room. This is just stupid shit. Truth is, Venom manhandles Spiderman a lot in the comics and we barely see the actual Venom in this movie. Finally, he appears at the way end along with a shitty version of Carnage who’s also a bad ass. It took a lot of thinking and I still can’t figure out how you screw this one up but they did and they did it horribly. This movie made me so angry that I can only write one thing about it: FUCK THIS MOVIE!
As always, please send over any suggestions for movies you feel jerked you off!
