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THEY’VE GOT TWITTER, WE’VE GOT SHITTER

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

shitter

Digging Twitter? Fine, but I’m bringing on Shitter.

You’ve got your tweets and I’ve got my shits.

I will do this just as Twitter would only it will be Shitter, a much better service that tells it like it is.

jamie-foxx

ShitterUser1 the more I see him the more it’s obvious: Jamie Foxx is a pompous prick who thinks his shit doesn’t stink. Look at the pic above: it stinks, Jamie.

michael-jacksons-daughter

Schayes8899 wonders if Michael Jackson’s daughter knows that he touched little boys and not her mother? Hey, I like MJ, but just saying.

hair1

LALakerFan1 Ron Artest just revealed that his barber will be making the trip to Los Angeles as well. BTW: his barber’s name is Boogie. Not a typo.

MTV Movie Awards Insider

MichaelBayIzADouche Michael Bay is a big, arrogant, jerk-off who makes $100 million dollar stunt shows. I’m on Megan Fox’s side, BTW

ca-gov

TheCaliGovSux wonders if state of CA is the 6th largest economy in the world, how the FUCK are we broke?

girlfriend

RIPAirMcNair sad to hear Steve McNair gets 4 slugs in his body, why didn’t he think of boys #1, 2, 3 and 4 at home b4 dating a 20 yr old wack job?

I will return again next week with more of the top shits from Shitter!

STOP BUYING THIS CRAP

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Some everyday items and products that have become too expensive and therefore don’t deserve are hard-earned money. Be frugal, dammit!

cereal

GIMME A BOWL OF COOKIE CRISP FOR BREAKFAST

I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t like cereal. Cheerios, Captain Crunch, Frosty Flakes, Apple Jacks, Cookie Crisp, whatever your cereal is, you like it. And you can have a big ole giant bowl of it too. Not anymore. Cereal is around $4-7 a box and I think this is where we as the consumer tell Kellogg’s, General Mills and Post to go fuck themselves. Give us a break, guys! We’ve been gaining weight on your breakfast munchies since we were pre-schoolers. Drop the prices so we can enjoy being a kid again. These companies suffer from a syndrome I call “greediprix”. Uncle Sam suffers from this too.

cd-stack

DUDE, LET’S CRUISE OVER TO TOWER RECORDS!

There was a time where you could stroll into the music store and buy a compact disc for ten bucks. You gave the clerk your money and you didn’t feel cheated. Then, the prices got into the $12-15 range and you started getting hesitant. A little high, you would think to yourself. At the $15-20 range, you began seeking out the record executives so you could bitch slap them back to reality. If you want to know why the music industry is dead, here’s your reason. Don’t jerk off your consumers. Another terrible case of “greediprix”

movie-ticket

ANYONE WANNA SEE THE NEW STAR TREK…? ANYONE?

Not a joke: Ten years ago, me and my crew would roll into Westwood Village for movies every Friday and Saturday night and get in for $5 bucks and a student ID. Now, in Los Angeles as well as New York City and other big metro’s, ticket prices for an evening movie runs you around $12. Even during the day you’re looking at $8. It’s not just us big city folks either: in 1998, ticket prices in the US were $4.69 on average. Last year? $7.18. That’s an increase of $2.49 which may not seem like much. However, from 1988-1998, tickets prices went from $4.11 to $4.69, a difference of .58 cents. They were just diagnosed with “greediprix”.

dennys-grand-slam

GETTING SLAMMED BY THE GRAND SLAM 

Another great destination for the young and broke used to be Denny’s where their $2.99 Grand Slam breakfasts (5 to choose from) were the talk of town. When I was a kid their ad campaign was bent on “$1.99? You’re out of your mind” to give you an idea of how cheap Denny’s was. If you want to know how cheap Denny’s is today, just peep the picture above. Those free meals they’re giving out is because nobody wanted to pay $8 for anything at Denny’s and people stopped stopping by. There should be a mandatory limit for how much breakfast can be. Like, no restaurant can ever charge you more than $10 for breakfast, no matter what. Even if you get 10 eggs, and 6 pieces of bacon and 6 pancakes and a pound of hashbrowns and a piece of ham along with another 6 pieces of sausage and infinite refills of coffee. And it would only be $10. Maybe this would help eventually heal all “greediprix” victims.

BY THE WAY…

YOU CAN HELP

HOW?

STOP BUYING THIS CRAP!!!

THE TIP TOP OF HIP HOP

Monday, May 4th, 2009

I’ve made a list, in no particular order, of some of the greatest hip hop albums of all time, stop pop culture style. Most of these albums dropped before hip hop had even become “pop culture”. Please, feel free to lend more as these aren’t the be all, end all.

illmatic

Nas – Illmatic

Some consider this to be the greatest hip hop album of all time although I tend to disagree, albeit due to personal reasons, not facts. However, this classic lesson in true hip hop can’t be disputed as one of the best since damn near every track hits hard and Nas’s lyrical flow is hard to stop listening to.

i-wish-my-bro1

Del the Funkee Homosapien – I Wish My Brother George Was Here

This is one of those Pulp Fiction albums of greatness: it’s not great fundamentally but incredibly innovative and difference, hence, making it incredible. This was Del’s introduction to hip hop fans and there were no questions asked afterwards knowing now that Del was an incredibly gifted rapper as well as one of strangest son of a bitches hip hop will ever know.

nia

Nia – Blackalicious

Any true hip hop head will tell you it’d be hard to find a better rapper than Gift of Gab from Blackalicious. There really isn’t anything he can’t do on the mic. If you really want proof of this, Nia is the album for you. And, if you have a chance, download or buy the single “Swan Lake” that Gift of Gab did with DJ Shadow around the same time, one of the greatest hip hop songs of all time. ‘Nuff said.

innercity-griots

Freestyle Fellowship – Innercity Griots

Quite possibly the album that put underground hip hop on the map forever, Fellowship’s Innercity Griots is a classic to anyone who knows about hip hop on the west coast. You mentioned Fellowship (nobody bothers with the word Freestyle anymore) on the left coast and you’re bound to run into some smiles. Aceyalone and Mikah 9 lead the way of the lyrically gifted Los Angeles hip hop ensemble definitely worthy of a listen and a buy.

ready-2-die

Notorious B.I.G. – Ready to Die

Here’s something interesting: I’m a west coast guy however, you will not see any Tupac albums on this list. Why? None were quite good enough. 2Pac had some classic, great songs, but not any true classic albums. At least not in my book. From first song to last song, Ready to Die is incredible. What’s funny is the big hits from Biggie’s first album (Juicy, Big Papa, One More Chance) aren’t even the best song. The title track, Ready to Die, is incredible. Listen to it. Then, listen to it again and again and again until you realize how damn good it is.

do-u-want-more

The Roots – Do You Want More?!!!??!

Ah, the Roots, possibly the most gifted hip hop ensemble all around since they make all of their music with instruments and have a great rapper to boot. When this album dropped, it blew everybody in the world of hip hop away. The songs were jazzy but hit hard and still remained mellow and melodious. What’s great about the Roots is they have a unique sound that’s impossible to mimic and their first album is a very indicative of this.

midnight-marauders

Tribe Called Quest -Midnight Marauders

Yes, you may think I’m a whack job with this choice since so many hip hop fans would pick Tribe’s first or second album as their best however, their third installment was a complete sleeper and therefore makes this list on that little fact alone. Tribe fans tend to get caught up in their Bonita Apple Bum and Scenario days, both classic hip hop tracks. The final cut on this album, God Lives Through, is one for the ages, and an incredibly fun song to listen to if you’re a hip hop fan that goes way back. To hear Tribe name some of their hip hop brethren in this song always gives me the goose bumps.

new-jersey-drive-vol-1

New Jersey Drive Soundtrack Vol. 1 & 2

I don’t think any of our newer hip hop heads have ever heard of New Jersey Drive or its classic soundtrack, an album that was far better than the movie it was made for. There’s so many hidden gems on these two volumes that it’s hard to pick which ones stand out but “You Won’t Go Far” by O.C. and Organized Konfusion is one of the better tracks. But this purely east coast lineup is damn hard to beat just to name a few of them: Organized Konfusion, O.C., Black Moon, Outkast, Redman and Notrious B.I.G. Buy this album and show it off to all your homies that have never heard of it.

entroducing

DJ Shadow – Entroducing

Quite possibly the greatest musical hip hop achievement of all time, DJ Shadow’s first album, Entroducing, is one of the most amazing gifts to your ear you will ever receive. Listen as he takes you on the most incredible journey through the sounds of hip hop that you will ever take in your life. This man is so damn gifted and this album so great that it doesn’t even need rapping in it. It should be every rapper’s dream to make a song with DJ Shadow at the helm because his beats are perfectly constructed without even a minor blemish. If you haven’t heard this album, GET IT!!! All you need to do is shut your pie hole and listen to hip hop music at its finest.

STOP…BUYING THIS CRAP

Wednesday, March 25th, 2009

bottled-water

HEADING DOWN TO THE STORE FOR A BOTTLE OF WATER…

You might want to just keep your ass at home instead. Bottled water is better than tap although I’ve actually heard that’s not even the case. Then again, when you’ve grown up in Los Angeles most of your life such as me and my crew, you don’t drink the tap water if you don’t have to. It’s a last resort. That being said, bottled water is bought up by the gallons all throughout L.A. and the warmer cities. Problem is, most people in these cities haven’t adapted to something called financial responsibility that embodies a person’s overall spending habits, what they purchase and if they really need it or not. Water is something we need. Bottled water is something we don’t. Hit up one of these new water stores sprouting up all over the place. They all have water machines that use a reverse osmosis system that filters the water and makes it crispy and clean. It’s great and at a quarter a gallon, it’s the best deal you can get on a day to day basis. I used to spend $1.80 at 7Eleven every other day on a gallon of their cheaper water. I’m getting about more than seven times that amount at the water store. Ya dig?

7eleven

…AND WHILE I GRAB THE WATER, I’LL GET ME SOME CHIPS AND ICE CREAM

Be responsible with your munchies, cowboy. The convenience of 7Eleven and the neighborhood liquor store are in business because of convenience and nothing but. When you’re craving that Ben and Jerry’s at midnight and a quick drive to the supermarket just won’t do. But while the convenient stores are beckoning at your every desire, your wallet is screaming in pain along the way. Think for the future (even for half a day!) and drop by the market on the way home and spend three times less for three times more and a much happier evening with the munchies :)

tits

HAVE TO GET TO THE SALON BECAUSE MY HAIR’S A MESS!

Young man, STOP!!! If you’re a dude and the word salon somehow makes it out of your mouth, something has probably gone awry. Men go to a barbershop or the haircut place or something of that nature, never a salon. But many men do spend their hard earned money on a stylishly expensive trim down at a salon by some chick who’s probably got her tits in his face looking for a little more tip. Look, I’m not telling you not to be a mess with your hair. Quite the opposite, actually. I’m just telling you that the barber ain’t charging you $50 a pop and up for the same pair of scissors snipping away your hair to make it look better. A simple $15 cut at my old Korean barber never fails to do the trick. It’s great, he speaks barely any English and knows exactly what I want each and every time. He always gets a big tip from me. And it’s not the salon.

STOP…BUYING THIS STUFF

Friday, March 13th, 2009

More useless things from our wild consumer spending.

ugg-chick

OMIGOD! UGGS ARE THE MOST COMFORTABLE THING IN THE WORLD!!!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ugg schmug. I got female friends who will probably stab me after they read this because they’re so IN LOVE with their Uggs footwear that sometimes it seems that’s the only thing they’re wearing these days. Well, if that were the case, maybe I’d be a little more in to them being that a bunch of naked women trouncing around in nothing but Uggs wouldn’t be such a bad idea. However, at $120 a pair, don’t think these things aren’t going up on this list since I believe a heavy pair of socks does the trick for ten times less dough. Point is, you ain’t getting a sliver of sympathy from me if you’re complaining about money and have a pair of Uggs. Also, all dudes out there with a pairs of Uggs: THROW THEM OUT AND GET MANLY. Yeah, you read that right. Throw them out, pussy.

11284369

IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT AND THAT MEANS BAR-HOPPING!

And bar hopping means spending a lot of money! Drinks are rarely below $7 once tip is accounted for so if you’re planning on getting drunk, and most of you are, depending on how well you hold your liquor, you could be up to your neck in booze and bar tabs. Yes, I understand you’re a dude and you have to hit up all the cool bars to see what kind of hot chicks may be out prowling the night for you but, get a clue, homeboy, they ain’t prowling for you, they’re prowling for a guy who’s going to buy their drinks for them. It’s exactly why bar hopping for chicks can be a LOT different than bar hopping for guys. Either way, I think bar hopping is for pretentious people with nothing better to do than to spend hours dolling themselves up to look completely different than they really look just to attract another person that looks completely different than they really do and maybe “hook up”, a term that I absolutely can’t fucking stand to hear. “Hook up” with a tax guy and learn how to spend your money wisely, morons. “Hook up”. Sheesh.

beverly hills sign

WE GOTTA LIVE IN BEV HILLS OR MANHATTAN OR…

Live where you want, silly-shit, but it’s all the same when the neighborhood doesn’t fit you and, more likely, you don’t fit the neighborhood. I’ve lived in Los Angeles for most of my life so I’m used to this pretentious thinking to make those around you (fake friends, really) think you’re much bigger and more special than you really are. It goes in line with the same douche bags who live in apartments but drive $35-50K cares just for show. In fact, head over to the Hollywood area if you want to see where L.A.’s actors and actresses overspend their money. However, having been to more cities than just Los Angeles, I’ve noticed this disturbing trend across the states because I know it is a “thing” to be living in Manhattan if you’re in New York and I’m sure there are ritzy areas in every major city in America where people tend to stretch their limits way too far and wind up biting themselves in the ass.

LIVE WHERE YOU CAN AFFORD TO LIVE NOT WHERE YOU WANT TO LIVE

AIN’T IT FUNNY…?

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

I decided to go with a new dig here that I think all of us can relate to. How many times have you said “ain’t it funny how…?” Ex: Ain’t it funny how a lot of waiters perk up toward the end of your meal hoping to get a good tip? Also, I thought I’d end it with one “ain’t it sad” because of the whole yin and yang thingy.

Without any further introduction…

Ain’t it funny how Mexican restaurants are always dark and there’s music and it’s supposed to be romantic but for some reason it’s more like a party?

mariachis-mamacita

*why doesn’t she ever dance at the Mexican restaurants I go to?

Ain’t it funny how you can get trashed off as much wine and alcohol and hard liquor as you want and run amok, possibly getting in your car and endangering the lives of everyone on the road, including yourself, not to mention how loud and obnoxious and violent you could get and it’d be perfectly legal but you’d get put in handcuffs for smoking a joint and eating a lot of junk food in some cities and states?

drinking-kills

*alcohol kills

mms-smoking-weed

*marijuana chills

Ain’t it funny how every sports city seems to don a “Beat L.A.” sign but you never see signs like that in L.A.? That’s because people in L.A. have something special. It’s called a life.

beat-la

*I don’t mind some people doing the “Beat L.A.” chant

Ain’t it funny how everyone dreads moving the clocks forward even though they were just complaining about winter?

cold-as-hell

*we don’t get this much on the west coast

Ain’t it sad how some of the groups you like aren’t that popular while some of the groups you hate the most are the most popular?

nsync

*this is why we need to STOP POP CULTURE